What is your most embarassing moment? Come be laughed at!

[Joe Le Toff]

Some crackers in here, worth a read
http://forum.football365.com/index.p...art=0&count=40

My favourite so far:

While I was living at home, maybe 17 or 18...

Just got out of the shower, feeling pretty good about myself... started 'miming' the words to 'Walk this Way' with my arse cheeks (as you do).

Just as I get to the line, "just gimmie a kiss", my mum's 65 year old cleaner, Cath, happens to walk into my bedroom. I caught sight of her between my legs as she stared into the abyss.... she backed out of the room and, thank god, it was never mentioned.

[rushscored4]

We went on holiday to Tenerife during Euro 96 and one night me and the missus went out for a few drinks whilst her parents babysat for us. A few drinks turned into several and then a few more so we staggered back to the apartment.

Along the way I had this uncontrollable urge to have a **** so I saw this little white wall and as there was nobody about I decided to drop me kecks and squat with me arse over the wall. After squeezing the turtle's head for a few minutes I finished and, feeling rather proud of keeping my ablutions private, I stood up and looked over the wall to admire my handywork. There at the bottom of a small embankment was a hotel reception with about 20 people stood outside with their suitcases waiting for a coach to go to the airport...

[MARTINOZ]

Now that's Funny !

[Darth Marty]

one that springs to mind for me is this little gem -

When i was about 11 or 12 I was watching the dirty dozen with all of my extended family, parents, older siblings, grand parents, uncles etc etc, the whole ****ing works, anyway trying to be all clever and grown up I set myself up for a big fall...theres a part where someone is in the jail cell and is told "dont masturbate too much" and I unwittingly assumed that masturbate = **** , as at that stage I had no sexual knowledge whatsoever. Anyway, later my father decides to go to the toilet and I pipe up, "thats all he ever does is masturbate". Cue stony silence and not so long after "the chat".

[Subby]

one that springs to mind for me is this little gem -

When i was about 11 or 12 I was watching the dirty dozen with all of my extended family, parents, older siblings, grand parents, uncles etc etc, the whole ****ing works, anyway trying to be all clever and grown up I set myself up for a big fall...theres a part where someone is in the jail cell and is told "dont masturbate too much" and I unwittingly assumed that masturbate = **** , as at that stage I had no sexual knowledge whatsoever. Anyway, later my father decides to go to the toilet and I pipe up, "thats all he ever does is masturbate". Cue stony silence and not so long after "the chat".

[Dan]

one that springs to mind for me is this little gem -

When i was about 11 or 12 I was watching the dirty dozen with all of my extended family, parents, older siblings, grand parents, uncles etc etc, the whole ****ing works, anyway trying to be all clever and grown up I set myself up for a big fall...theres a part where someone is in the jail cell and is told "dont masturbate too much" and I unwittingly assumed that masturbate = **** , as at that stage I had no sexual knowledge whatsoever. Anyway, later my father decides to go to the toilet and I pipe up, "thats all he ever does is masturbate". Cue stony silence and not so long after "the chat".

FLMAO

[Red_Polo]

one that springs to mind for me is this little gem -

When i was about 11 or 12 I was watching the dirty dozen with all of my extended family, parents, older siblings, grand parents, uncles etc etc, the whole ****ing works, anyway trying to be all clever and grown up I set myself up for a big fall...theres a part where someone is in the jail cell and is told "dont masturbate too much" and I unwittingly assumed that masturbate = **** , as at that stage I had no sexual knowledge whatsoever. Anyway, later my father decides to go to the toilet and I pipe up, "thats all he ever does is masturbate". Cue stony silence and not so long after "the chat".

[Subby]

with an ex of mine years ago, I stayed at her house but was asked to stay in the spare room. when her parents went to bed I sneaked into her room for some fun, we soon got round to some tasty 69 action when I seen the light go on in the hall...she had one of them doors with a window at the top of the door to the roof....anyway her mum sticks her head in the door before I had time to warn my then girlfriend. Time slowed down to the point where it hardly moved....her mother seen her daughter sucking me off while I stick my head round the side of a white ass and caught sight of the horrified mother. The words..."oh I'm sorry" will haunt me for the rest of my natural life. The mother backed out of the room and closed the door....time stood still for a minute and then my ex started to cry....I got up and got dressed and left the house just after 3am and walked 15 miles back to my house...didn't arrive till 7 or 8am....reason I did so was her dad had a legally held shotgun in the house and I wasn't taking any chances!

I never seen her mother again as I finished with her not long after that...I still get goosepimples thinking for them words and her mothers face as she said them....Oh....I'm....sorry....

[Dan]

I suppose its my turn.

When I was 5 or 6 I went swimming with my dad in the local pool. We somehow started a game of pull down each others shorts. The game sort of died down and when I noticed one of my mates I left my dad and went off with my mate. Then I decided to play the game again so I swam up beside the guy with the red shorts of my dad and pulled them right down. Utterly **** myself when he turned around and it wasnt my dad.


Another embarrasing incident Ive had also happened in a swimming pool when I was around the same age. My uncle went in to use the toilet and I needed to go too so my aunt said to catch up with him and go do the business. So I jumped out of the pool and walked over to the pool drainage thing at the wall, thinking it was a urinal, whipped my lad out, and went full flow with a whole pool watching

[Darth Marty]

with an ex of mine years ago, I stayed at her house but was asked to stay in the spare room. when her parents went to bed I sneaked into her room for some fun, we soon got round to some tasty 69 action when I seen the light go on in the hall...she had one of them doors with a window at the top of the door to the roof....anyway her mum sticks her head in the door before I had time to warn my then girlfriend. Time slowed down to the point where it hardly moved....her mother seen her daughter sucking me off while I stick my head round the side of a white ass and caught sight of the horrified mother. The words..."oh I'm sorry" will haunt me for the rest of my natural life. The mother backed out of the room and closed the door....time stood still for a minute and then my ex started to cry....I got up and got dressed and left the house just after 3am and walked 15 miles back to my house...didn't arrive till 7 or 8am....reason I did so was her dad had a legally held shotgun in the house and I wasn't taking any chances!

I never seen her mother again as I finished with her not long after that...I still get goosepimples thinking for them words and her mothers face as she said them....Oh....I'm....sorry....

ooooooooooooooh...thats a ****ing beauty!!

[Darth Marty]

I suppose its my turn.

When I was 5 or 6 I went swimming with my dad in the local pool. We somehow started a game of pull down each others shorts. The game sort of died down and when I noticed one of my mates I left my dad and went off with my mate. Then I decided to play the game again so I swam up beside the guy with the red shorts of my dad and pulled them right down. Utterly **** myself when he turned around and it wasnt my dad.


Another embarrasing incident Ive had also happened in a swimming pool when I was around the same age. My uncle went in to use the toilet and I needed to go too so my aunt said to catch up with him and go do the business. So I jumped out of the pool and walked over to the pool drainage thing at the wall, thinking it was a urinal, whipped my lad out, and went full flow with a whole pool watching

And both of these are cringeworthy!!

[Subby]

ooooooooooooooh...thats a ****ing beauty!!

I can laugh now but I still get the fear of god in me when I think back

[wiw]

When i was about 14 in America i tried to 'empty my nose' in a swimming pool. Needless to say it was longer and stringier than i could have anticipated, it looped back into my mouth and i puked into the pool (which had about 15 people in it)

I've never run so fast

[Pacman]

Not mine but funny all the same.

My mate went on holiday to Spain with his Mrs and his 2 kids (a boy and a girl) they got friendly with another couple who also had kids. Anyway on their last day my mate was stood outside near the pool having a smoke with the bloke they had got friendly. They were having a chat about football when my mates daughter comes over to him as asks him to get Mr Happy out. My mate told his daughter to go over to her mum but she wouldn't and then she started screaming and pulling at my mates shorts asking him to get Mr Happy out. Suddenly he could see this other bloke looking at him strange and everyone round the pool looking at him. He went red and asked his daughter again to go over to her mother. His daughter screamed even more pulling at his crotch and his shorts demanding he got Mr Happy out. Everyone still looking at him and thinking he was some kind of peado my mate realised he had no option but to pull his shorts down and expose his Mr Happy boxer shorts much to the relief of everyone round the pool and the bloke my mate was having a smoke with.

[Darth Marty]

Not mine but funny all the same.

My mate went on holiday to Spain with his Mrs and his 2 kids (a boy and a girl) they got friendly with another couple who also had kids. Anyway on their last day my mate was stood outside near the pool having a smoke with the bloke they had got friendly. They were having a chat about football when my mates daughter comes over to him as asks him to get Mr Happy out. My mate told his daughter to go over to her mum but she wouldn't and then she started screaming and pulling at my mates shorts asking him to get Mr Happy out. Suddenly he could see this other bloke looking at him strange and everyone round the pool looking at him. He went red and asked his daughter again to go over to her mother. His daughter screamed even more pulling at his crotch and his shorts demanding he got Mr Happy out. Everyone still looking at him and thinking he was some kind of peado my mate realised he had no option but to pull his shorts down and expose his Mr Happy boxer shorts much to the relief of everyone round the pool and the bloke my mate was having a smoke with.

thats ****ing hilarious!! Im so glad it wasnt me though!!! oh my god, thats truly ****ing awful/hysterical in equal amounts!!!