A teacher asks her class "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Bobby. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Bobby says, "Please Miss, I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Bobby replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
Little Bobby returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks his father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies Bobby. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yes, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'" What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"
Little Bobby goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Bobby says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Bobby, that's a mouthful." Little Bobby says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*w-job."
Little Bobby was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He shouted out, "Miss Rogers, I need to take a p*ss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, Bobby, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Bobby, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger t*ts, you'd be a TEN!"
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" twice in the same sentence. First, she asked little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Bobby. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!'"
Little Bobby was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that chocolate isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Bobby replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?" Little Bobby answered, "No, he minded his own f*cking business."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Bobby says, "Please Miss, I have a question for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Bobby replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
Little Bobby returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks his father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies Bobby. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yes, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'" What's the f*cking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"
Little Bobby goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Bobby says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Bobby, that's a mouthful." Little Bobby says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*w-job."
Little Bobby was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He shouted out, "Miss Rogers, I need to take a p*ss!!"
The teacher replied, 'Now, Bobby, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Bobby, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger t*ts, you'd be a TEN!"
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" twice in the same sentence. First, she asked little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little Bobby. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f*cking beautiful!'"
Little Bobby was sitting on a park bench munching on one chocolate bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that chocolate isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Bobby replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 chocolate bars at a time?" Little Bobby answered, "No, he minded his own f*cking business."
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