Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen
floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's "Doing" her the Rev Mother comes in.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep
Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.
What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?
The McCartneys
But really we shouldn't make fun of macca. After all will he ever find
another woman to fill her shoe?
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now f*ck off you c*nt!'
A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one
of my kids' she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'F*cking hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?'
'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan!'.
floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's "Doing" her the Rev Mother comes in.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep
Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'
What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.
What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?
The McCartneys
But really we shouldn't make fun of macca. After all will he ever find
another woman to fill her shoe?
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now f*ck off you c*nt!'
A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one
of my kids' she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'F*cking hell are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?'
'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!'
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.
A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan!'.
not as good as kenny's bloodninja et al thread 
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