The top 100 forum quotes

[Subby]

flmao at this thread - easily the funniest thing i have read on here in ages. The cereal one had me fighting back the laughter - i had to stop half way through and go and do something else

I have seen that eminem/britney one before - i think that lad has done loads of them

some classics in there - keep 'em coming

I've just been told that if I am caught online again I'll be disciplined. it was that cereal thread that got me caught....I nearly wet myself laughing. My boss came in and seen me. I seen him looking over at me but I couldn't hold the laughter in ....**** **** ****


...still was worth the laugh...that is my nomination for laugh of the year

[Reece]

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

F
L
M
A
O

[Reece]

#352172 +(7160)- [X]

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.



#214810 +(7152)- [X]

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> **** you



#376790 +(7049)- [X]

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

[Harv]

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this is some funny funny ****

[Harv]

#330261 +(13662)- [X]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

[KK07]

#18 +(3545)- [X]

<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

[livvy145]

#18 +(3545)- [X]

<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?

The Glove?

[KK07]

#21 +(-552)- [X]

<Tempy^^> I'll settle for old and fat
<Tempy^^> begger can't be choosers
<Tempy^^> prolly find used condoms inside of her

[KK07]

The Glove?

[PTP]

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

[PTP]

<kylev> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<kylev> hahahahaha
<kylev> some girl just came onto our floor
<kylev> and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
<kylev> i just asked her what the paper was about
<kylev> and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

[PTP]

<LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<LordChewy> "i know dad"
<LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "Cocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<LordChewy> and he just shut up
<kingKahn> what is it?
<LordChewy> its his porn folder

[PTP]

Harsh but funny

<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little ****s in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the ****ing skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little ****’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “****! ****!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “****! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! ****!.” By now, the kid is scared ****less and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m ****ING HIV POSITIVE.”
<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my **** from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

[johnp]

<knightmare> _______ ___._._._
<GTEK> ?
<knightmare> /s_r__r 12_._._.1
<GTEK> dam i kno this
<knightmare> /ser_er 127._._.1
* Quits: GTEK (Quit)
* Quits: xfiles (Quit)
* Quits: Evolution (Quit)

[johnp]

Niall: "There is no "I" in team." "There's no "we" either. However, there IS a "me". So piss off, you micromanaging twerp."
DMac: there's also meat
Niall: And meta.
DMac: and meta
DMac: .. meta-meat?
Niall: Transcendental sausage?
DMac: tame meta-meat
Niall: Farm-raised transcendental pigs.
DMac: tame meta-meat mate?
Niall: Female farm-raised transcendental pig.
DMac: better than mate meta-tame meat
Niall: Bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm.
DMac: team mate tame meta-meat .... /shudder
Niall: Gangbang bestiality involving a pig raised on a transcendental farm.