Ray

[Reaper]

Gay Ray goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, 'Ray, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS.'

Ray is devastated. 'Doc, what can I do?'.

'Eat 1 curry sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts,1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice.'

Ray asks bewildered, 'Will that cure me, Doc?'

Doc says, 'No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arse is for.

[Reaper]

Subby was stopped by the Gamekeeper at the local big-wigs estate recently with two buckets full of salmon.
He was leaving a part of the river well-known for its fishing.

The Gamekeeper asked Subby, Do you have a licence to catch those fish?

To be sure, sir, replied Subby. I ain't got no fishin' license, because I not here after fishing! These here are my pet fish.

Pet fish?

Oh yes! Every night, I takes these fish down to the lake and let dem swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jumps right back into the bucket here and I takes 'em home.

That's bullsh*it! Fish can't do that.

Subby looked at the gamekeeper intently for a moment and then said, I swear it's the truth, Mr. Gamekeeper. I'll show ya. Sure and it really works.

O.K., said the gamekeeper. I've got to see this!

Subby poured the fish into the river and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the Warden said, Well?

Well, what? asked Subby.

The gamekeeper asked: When are you going to call them back?

Call who back?

The FISH! yelled the gamekeeper.

What fish? asked Subby.

[Guest]

[Subby]

I miss those fish