Celtic fans???

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A small zoo in Glasgow acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Ronnie McHenry, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Ronnie was also a season ticket holder at Parkhead. Ronnie, like many Glasgow folk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

Ronnie was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500? Ronnie showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but with four conditions:

"First", Ronnie said, "Ah'm no gonnae kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "Ye cannae never tell naebody aboot this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", Ronnie said, "I want all the weans raised as Celtic fans."Once again it was agreed.

"And last of all", Ronnie stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the £500!

[lfcchris]

Think this reads slightly better:

Everton fans???

At Chester zoo, they had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of John Smith, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

John was also a season ticket holder at Goodison. John, like many Everton folk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.

John was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500? He showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but with four conditions:

"First", John said, "Am not kissin er on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "Ye can never tell anybody bout this." The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", John said, "I want all the nippers raised as Everton fans."Once again it was agreed.

"And last of all", John stated, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the 500 quid!

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