3 tortoises, Brian, Harry and Weston decided they should go out for a picnic in a nearby park.
They decided that Brian would get the bread, Harry the sandwich fillers and Weston the beers.
A day later, and in high spirits, they set off for the nearby picnic site.
Two and half weeks later, the finally got there.
Just as they were laying out their spread, they realised none of them had remembered to carry a bottle opener.
After a days debating, it was agreed that Brian should be the one to go back and fetch the opener.
Brain however was reluctant to go as he knew Harry and Weston would start on the delicious sandwiches without him.
He got them to take an oath and even sign a contract that they would not eat the sandwiches while he was gone.
Brian was happy with this and with that he set off.
Two weeks went by and Brain was not back.
Another week went by and he still was not back.
The following day Weston declared he was starving and tried to persuade Harry that maybe they could share half of one half of a sandwich while they waited for Brian to get back.
Harry was disgusted Weston would even suggest this, and reminded him of the oath they took.
Another 6 days went by and Brian was nowhere to be seen.
By this time, both Harry and Weston were turning blue with hunger. They decided they would share one sandwich between them, and keep it to themselves such that Brian would never know.
They agreed this was best and just as they sank their teeth into the sandwiches, Brain crawled out from a nearby rock and shouted,
''I knew it! I'm not ****ing going!''
They decided that Brian would get the bread, Harry the sandwich fillers and Weston the beers.
A day later, and in high spirits, they set off for the nearby picnic site.
Two and half weeks later, the finally got there.
Just as they were laying out their spread, they realised none of them had remembered to carry a bottle opener.
After a days debating, it was agreed that Brian should be the one to go back and fetch the opener.
Brain however was reluctant to go as he knew Harry and Weston would start on the delicious sandwiches without him.
He got them to take an oath and even sign a contract that they would not eat the sandwiches while he was gone.
Brian was happy with this and with that he set off.
Two weeks went by and Brain was not back.
Another week went by and he still was not back.
The following day Weston declared he was starving and tried to persuade Harry that maybe they could share half of one half of a sandwich while they waited for Brian to get back.
Harry was disgusted Weston would even suggest this, and reminded him of the oath they took.
Another 6 days went by and Brian was nowhere to be seen.
By this time, both Harry and Weston were turning blue with hunger. They decided they would share one sandwich between them, and keep it to themselves such that Brian would never know.
They agreed this was best and just as they sank their teeth into the sandwiches, Brain crawled out from a nearby rock and shouted,
''I knew it! I'm not ****ing going!''

By the way, are you a teacher??


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