Fail = post your epic pics here

[Laz]

Regardless of the depth of penetration, is anyone else wondering why someone is taking the time to take a ****ing photo while he's stuck there!

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http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ifRImxWHTt0

[Leyton388]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7e9AMM_Z-Vk

[Leyton388]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-mw7QPGDuuo

[Leyton388]

Manchester City have given notice of their incredible financial muscle with a mind-blowing £200,000 a week offer to Fernando Torres.

The Mirror can reveal that representatives of the Premiership club’s Abu Dhabi owners have made discreet contact with the Liverpool striker’s advisors within the last fortnight.

And while there has been no official approach or a formal offer, it is understood the Spaniard’s agents have had the prospect of an incredible deal spelt out to them in no uncertain terms.

Sources in Spain, where the player’s advisors - the management group Bay International - are based, suggest that the oil rich owners of City would happily more than DOUBLE the striker’s salary to get their man.

And while Torres has made it clear that he would not be interested in any offer at any price, it is still a sobering reflection of just how powerful City could become in the market.

The figure has virtually been plucked out of the air to illustrate to the player’s advisor how keen the Arabs would be to see a player of Torres’ standing arrive at the City of Manchester Stadium.

Ironically, the Spaniard scored twice there to win the game for City on Sunday, and emphasise his status as probably the best striker in Europe at the moment.

City manager Mark Hughes wants another striker, and while he is pragmatic enough to realise that he will find it difficult to tempt a player such as Torres away from a big four club, he accepts the club’s new owners need to show they mean business.

Torres has discreetly sent word back that he is happy at Liverpool, and wouldn’t consider the move, not matter how much money he is offered.

He still has FIVE years left on his current Anfield contract and has given his word to the Kop fans he adores that he will not leave.

In fact, the only way he would consider a departure from Liverpool is if manager Rafa Benitez is somehow forced out by a failure to renew his own contract. The manager currently has around 18 months to run, and would be keen to sign an extension to provide some long term stability at the club.

If that doesn’t happen and the unthinkable becomes reality with Torres departing, then it would only be for Spain, and not another English club. In fact, Torres would leave only to join Barcelona, or return to his previous club Atletico Madrid, where he hopes to eventually finish his career.

It is understood that City won’t become arrogant in their pursuit of top players, and will instead allow Hughes to build a squad without the absolute necessity for star names.

But Torres is the exception. If there was any way he could be tempted then they would pay the wages no matter what the level.

If offers an intriguing insight into the direction of the Premiership over the next few years, with such an astonishing amount of money on offer to the right player.

Liverpool defender Martin Skrtel, meanwhile, has revealed that he feared his career was over after an horrific knee injury against City last Sunday.

“The pain was unbearable. I can’t remember a lot about the moment - but it was terrible. I thought that was the end for me,” he said.

“I have never suffered anything like that before but I remained conscious and they gave me oxygen to help with the pain. I was in shock for a while but now I am coming to terms with what happened. It hurts still, but things are getting better.”

Skrtel has been ruled out until Christmas with a medial ligament injury, with the club relieved that the problem doesn’t require surgery.


EPIC FAIL ON A GRAND SCALE

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