Swimmer

[tufty]

A man with no arms or legs enters the para olympics in the swimming sprint

The gun fires and he falls into the water and sinks straight to the bottom of the pool

A man with only one leg wins the race and looks round to see a stream of bubbles, dives back in and rescues the man

"What happened ?" he asks

" I've spent five ****in years learning to swim using only my ears and some cunt put a cap on me !! "

[BFG]

He's back.

[badpiggy]

i was too embarrassed to reply to this thread but that had me cracked up for a bout 10 minutes yesterday.

[SK]

FLMAO!!!!!!!

[lfcchris]

Quality

[Dessy]

Lol

[Red Chilli]

I'm going to use that

[Tee]

[victor barry]

What kind of a sick cunt makes fun of people that are missing their arms and legs?

[Reaper]

Oh FFS here we go

[tufty]

What kind of a sick cunt makes fun of people that are missing their arms and legs?

thank God I didn't post the one about 'the head' that went into the pub





oh go on then





victor barry please don't scroll down any further










Theres this fella who was born with no body, just a head

on his eighteenth birthday, his dad is delighted to take him for his first ever official pint

after a couple of pints the dad says he's just going for a piss

he returns a couple of minutes later and sees his sons head battered, bleeding and bruised

" What the hell happened son ? "

" Well dad just after you'd gone a massive fight broke out and some ******* shouted out 'stick the head in' !! "

[Sean_LFC_1892]

thank God I didn't post the one about 'the head' that went into the pub
Theres this fella who was born with no body, just a head

on his eighteenth birthday, his dad is delighted to take him for his first ever official pint

after a couple of pints the dad says he's just going for a piss

he returns a couple of minutes later and sees his sons head battered, bleeding and bruised

" What the hell happened son ? "

" Well dad just after you'd gone a massive fight broke out and some ******* shouted out 'stick the head in' !! "

Better than the other version in fairness...:


Theres this fella who was born with no body, just a head.

On his eighteenth birthday, his dad is delighted to take him for his first ever official pint. After he finishes the first he sprouts a body.

His dad orders another round, and when finished the lad sprouts legs.
Astonished by this they quickly order a third round with chasers. When he finishes his third pint he sprouts arms and moves on to the chaser.

After downing the double, the lad suddenly drops dead. At which point the barman turns to his dad and says...


"He should have quit when he was a head..!"



"TAXI!"

[tufty]

welcome to the 'sick cunts' club

[Reaper]

Tufty you should be banned for makin people up for the purposes of taking the piss out of em in jokes

[tufty]

cheek of it, they're both real people I know


the swimmers name is Bob and the others fellas known as Hatti