Blonde Jokes

[Assassin]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her
little red sports car and was pulled over by a
woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's
license. She dug through her purse and was getting
progressively more agitated."What does it look
like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has
your picture on it.

The driver finally found a square mirror in her
purse, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman. "Here it is,"she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then
handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't
realize you were a cop."

[Vermilion]

Robbie Savage.

[Assassin]

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to
each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The
lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would
like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and
just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines
and rolls over to the window to catch a few
winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the
game is really easy and a lot of fun.

He explains how the game works: "I ask you a
question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me, and visa-versa."

Again, she politely declines and tries to get
some sleep.

The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his
opponent is a blonde he will easily win the
match, so he makes another offer:

"Okay, how about this "If you don't know the
answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know
the answer, I will pay you $5000."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring
that there will be no end to this torment unless
she plays, she agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the
distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her
purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it
to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer,
"What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes
down with four?"

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He
takes out his laptop computer and searches all
his references. He taps into the Airphone with
his modem and searches the Net and even the
Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends
emails to all his co-workers and friends he
knows. All to no avail.

After over an hour, of searching for the answer
he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and
hands her $5000.

The blonde politely takes the $5000 and turns
away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated,
wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS
the answer?"

Again without a word, the blonde reaches into
her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back
to sleep.

[Vermilion]

Two blonde roomates go to the petshop and come home with pet mice.
Upon debating how to tell them appart one blonde suggests they cut off the tail of one of the mice. It seems like a great idea so they go ahead.

That night the mice are talking and one says to the other "wow, thats cool you don't have a tail." "I know!" "I wish I didnt have a tail." "Well you can, just chew yours off." So the mouse does.

The next day the blondes check on the mice and find neither of them have tails. So they decide to cut off the left front paw of one of the mice.

That night a similar conversation takes place between the mice adn in the morning the blondes find both of their mice three-legged with no tails.

This continues until one morning neither of the mice have any legs or tails.

"This is getting ridiculous!" one of the blondes finially exclaims,
"I'll tell you what, you take the black one and I'll take the white one."

[-V-]

How do you that a blonde has been using your computer?






.

There is tippex all over the screen

[nevelator]

Two blondes are talking a walk in the woods one day, after a while they arrive at a clearing.
The first blonde shouts to the other "look at those tracks on the ground - those are deer tracks".
The other blonde replys "no they are not - those are quite obviously rabbit tracks".
They keep arguing about who is right - each one saying that they are certain that they are correct.....right up until the train hits them!

[tommyg]

how does a blonde turn the light on after sex?

opens the car door!

boomboomTISHHHH!~

[SouthAfricaRed]

A school is having problems with violence and they decide to hire a psychologist to improve things

The blonde psychologist starts with watching the kids play football during break. She notices all the kids playing whilst one Fat boy stands all on his own, watching the other kids play

She feels sorry for him and walks up to him.

"Why dont you go and play with the other kids?"

He Shakes his head and says "I cant"

She says "Why not, Do they pick on you and Mock you all the time?"

He shakes his head and says "No"

She says "If you go and play with them you will make new friends and enjoy yourself"

He Shakes his head and says "I cant"

She says "Why not, dont you like Running around?"

He shakes his head and says "Because I'm the Goalie stupid, now stop bugging me"