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Creamated Husband

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    Creamated Husband

    Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.



    Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.



    Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....



    'Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me?
    I bought it with the insurance money!'



    She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, 'Herman, remember that car you promised me?
    Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!'



    Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, 'Herman, that diamond ring you promised me?
    Bought it too, with the insurance money!'



    Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, 'Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?'

    'Here it comes.'
    "Through me the way into the suffering city,
    Through me the way to the eternal pain,
    Through me the way that runs among the lost.
    Justice urged on my high artificer;
    My maker was divine authority,
    The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
    Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
    And I endure eternally.
    Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


    And like that… he's gone
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