Call Centre Conversations

[NicoBernetini]

Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'..
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable..'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh.. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

[Joe King]

I work in a call centre and ****ing hell, we do get some thick ****s ringing in.

My mate who worked for Next got a call asking him if Asda was open. He simply replied: 'I work a few miles from there and I don't have a window to look from' Something like that.

[PTP]

don't work in a call centre but spend a lot of time on the phone - there really is some idiots out there - love this sort of things, cheer me up

[Tee]

The last one is a classic!

[FatTony]

I used to work in a callcentre providing tech support back when we supported win 95.....anyway the internet was a luxury back then, you had to actually pay a monthly fee for the privilege of having an ISP on dial up....and you'd still have to pay for the time you were online.

Anyway, I digress. We had one old fellow who called as he was stuck during the registraion screens at the payment details. This guy had popped his credit card into the floppy disk drive slot to pay.

Another old lady was using the mouse with her feet on the floor, as you would do when controlling a sewing machine.

I once spoke to a guy called Pierce Mycock...no joke.

[tufty]

I worked for a company selling fasteners and fixings and one day a fella phoned up

" Do you have M6 bolts ? "

" Yes, how long do you want them ? "

" I want to keep them "

[MrsB]

A work mate once wanted to ring a bank, looked up the number in the internet, but the number was wrong. The angry old man who answered the phone asked my mate where he got his number from. "From the internet", explained my mate. "How old is your internet then?", was the reply.

[Reacher]

In my last job working for a US insurance company, I was helping an oldish-sounding lady with an error she was getting. Told her to take a print screen of the error message (even told her which button did that) and send it to me.

5 minutes later she phoned back to tell me nothing came out of the office printer! god love her........

[Subby]

I worked for a company selling fasteners and fixings and one day a fella phoned up

" Do you have M6 bolts ? "

" Yes, how long do you want them ? "

" I want to keep them "

[EwarWoo]

We deal with corporate and government clients and they're just as bad.

Once we had someone requesting their telephone relocated.

When asked where the telephone port was located, they advised "near the bottom of the wall".

No **** sherlock, we'll get right on it.

And its a very regular fault to get someone complaining the number on their phone changed / phone no longer works at all when they relocated.

"Did you relocate via a helpdesk request?"

"No, I just took the phone and plugged it in at my new desk....."

There's your problem!

And there's always the classic with mobile customer's, who call on their mobile and pull the battery off to check the IMEI whilst speaking with you on the self same mobile phone. Hello? Hello? Hello?

I don't deal with customer's much anymore. It's fu%#ing fantastic.

[redmacca]

Its not a call center story but it reminded me of when me and my mate were at Wolverhampton station coming back from V Festival, we told the woman behind the desk we had tickets booked to go to Workington but this woman though we said Worthington. For about 5 minutes she told us we were supposed to go down south via Oxford and we said no its about as north as you can get and if you go any further you're in Scotland! We said we were supposed to be on the Glasgow central train to which the woman replied (in thick brummie accent) "No, you need to get the Slough train", to which my mate, pissed off now, said "No we want to get the fast train like everyone else!"


She didnt appreciate the joke!

[Sisterstiffticket]

Its not a call center story but it reminded me of when me and my mate were at Wolverhampton station coming back from V Festival, we told the woman behind the desk we had tickets booked to go to Workington but this woman though we said Worthington. For about 5 minutes she told us we were supposed to go down south via Oxford and we said no its about as north as you can get and if you go any further you're in Scotland! We said we were supposed to be on the Glasgow central train to which the woman replied (in thick brummie accent) "No, you need to get the Slough train", to which my mate, pissed off now, said "No we want to get the fast train like everyone else!"


She didnt appreciate the joke!

...Thganks RM...made my day!

[MrsB]

Its not a call center story but it reminded me of when me and my mate were at Wolverhampton station coming back from V Festival, we told the woman behind the desk we had tickets booked to go to Workington but this woman though we said Worthington. For about 5 minutes she told us we were supposed to go down south via Oxford and we said no its about as north as you can get and if you go any further you're in Scotland! We said we were supposed to be on the Glasgow central train to which the woman replied (in thick brummie accent) "No, you need to get the Slough train", to which my mate, pissed off now, said "No we want to get the fast train like everyone else!"

She didnt appreciate the joke!

The West Brom fans call the Wolves fans Dingles.

[IrishRed7]

Mate of mine worked for eircom (ISP) about 8 years ago, he got a call from an older gent asking about "getting the internet in". So, discussion progresses through the various options, like free monthly and expensive per minute, up to expensive monthly and cheap per minute.

Old boy considers for a few moments, then asks:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Can I get the top monthly package for the first month and just download the whole internet...

[redlancer]

Mate of mine worked for eircom (ISP) about 8 years ago, he got a call from an older gent asking about "getting the internet in". So, discussion progresses through the various options, like free monthly and expensive per minute, up to expensive monthly and cheap per minute.

Old boy considers for a few moments, then asks:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Can I get the top monthly package for the first month and just download the whole internet...

worked in a TV repair shop one summer hols

woman - my TV's broke Neighbours is 6 months old.
no matter how much we told her she was watching BBC wales she wouldn't have it.
So we swapped the channel for BBC north west, charged her a 5er as she would accept it for free.

bloke brought in a TV and it was burnt to crisp.
asked him what had happened -said it kept blowing fuses so he put a nail accross the points.

Woman at work rang me up, and mentioned she's run out of paper - I said "no worries I'll fax you some over"
woman "thanks"