A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday
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>> She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
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>> On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
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>> Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
>> but
>> how old do you think I am?"
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>> "About 32," is the reply.
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>> "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
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>> A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
>> the very same question.
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>> The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
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>> The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
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>> Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
>> on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some
>> mints and
>> asks the clerk this burning question.
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>> The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
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>> Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
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>> While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
>> to
>> her the same question.
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>> He replies,"I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
>> young,
>> there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
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>> It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under
>> your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
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>> They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
>> best
>> of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
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>> He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
>> very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he
>> gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
>> them against
>> each other.
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>> After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
>> I?"
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>> He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
>> says, "Madam, you are 50."
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>> Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
>> tell?"
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>> The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
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>> "I promise I won't," she says.
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>> "I was behind you in McDonald's."
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>
>
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>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking,
>> but
>> how old do you think I am?"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> "About 32," is the reply.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl
>> the very same question.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
>> on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some
>> mints and
>> asks the clerk this burning question.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Again she proudly responds, "I'm 50, but thank you!"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next
>> to
>> her the same question.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> He replies,"I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
>> young,
>> there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under
>> your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
>> best
>> of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around
>> very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he
>> gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
>> them against
>> each other.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay...How old am
>> I?"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and
>> says, "Madam, you are 50."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you
>> tell?"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> "I promise I won't," she says.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> "I was behind you in McDonald's."
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
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