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    Troll story

    My mates wife told me this last night. She is in charge of a mental type home, the “residents” live in their own self contained flats in the grounds

    She gets a telephone call from 1 of the residents.

    Mentalist. “I have Troll in my flat”

    Wifey “Very nice, where did you buy it”

    Mentalist “No, it is a real Troll”

    Wifey “Are you sure it is a real Troll”

    Mentalist “Yes I have locked it in the Bathroom”

    Wifey “OK, well I am sure it will be OK in there, I have to go now as I have some work to do”

    About 1 hour later the phone rings again

    Mentalist “I still have the troll locked in my bathroom”

    Wifey “OK, I think you should let it out now”

    Mentalist “No, I cannot do that it might escape”

    Wifey “It is not likely to escape, as they are not real”

    Mentalist “It is real, that is why I have locked it in the Bathroom and I need to go to the toilet, is there another toilet I can use”

    My mates wife then starts to wonder what the **** is going on, so she gets one of the other employees to come with her and see what the real problem is.

    They arrive at the flat and knock on the door and the mentalist ushers them in.

    Mentalist “The troll is in the bathroom here, be careful it might escape”

    So they unlock the door and open it slowly and a small person (dwarf/midget) is sitting in the bathroom looking very worried to the point of being petrified.

    Mentalist “You need to take the troll away and have it locked up”

    So my mates wife and the other employee played along and “escorted” the “troll” from the flat.

    Mentalist “Make sure it does not escape” and locks the door

    They got back to the office and asked the small person what had happened. He told them that he was selling things for charity by going door to door around the area.

    He said he knocked on the door and the mentalist answered the door and before he had a chance to speak the mentalist had grabbed him and ran into the flat and threw him in the bathroom and locked the door.

    Once he had got over the trauma of being grabbed he said he thought he could escape through the bathroom window, but there wasn’t one, so he just had too sit it out. He was very shook up by the whole thing, but agreed not to take it any further.

    #2
    Brilliant
    "Through me the way into the suffering city,
    Through me the way to the eternal pain,
    Through me the way that runs among the lost.
    Justice urged on my high artificer;
    My maker was divine authority,
    The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
    Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
    And I endure eternally.
    Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


    And like that… he's gone

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Reaper View Post
      Brilliant

      I have been giggling about this most of the day

      Comment


        #4
        Sorry to Piss on your parade here, BUT I have heard that ****ing story many times,
        heard it the first time about four years ago!!

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by kingfunk View Post
          Sorry to Piss on your parade here, BUT I have heard that ****ing story many times,
          heard it the first time about four years ago!!
          Haha I thought that and did just do a google search but couldn't find anything

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by kingfunk View Post
            Sorry to Piss on your parade here, BUT I have heard that ****ing story many times,
            heard it the first time about four years ago!!

            Piss away. I believe my mates wife, she is a very genuine sort. She has told me some great work related stories over the years

            Comment


              #7
              I dont care whether he has heard it before or not. Its still ****in funny.

              I have been told many times that Ryan Babel will improve, but it still makes me laugh
              "Through me the way into the suffering city,
              Through me the way to the eternal pain,
              Through me the way that runs among the lost.
              Justice urged on my high artificer;
              My maker was divine authority,
              The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
              Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
              And I endure eternally.
              Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


              And like that… he's gone

              Comment


                #8
                IL gives you another version Iv Heard:


                About six or seven years ago a few of my older brother’s mates were out in a field picking
                Magic mushrooms, after getting a nice lot they decided to have a little sample.
                A few hours passed by, and at this stage they were all pretty ****ed off their heads and one of the lads John was starting to feel unwell and decided to go home, while the rest of the lads went back to another house.
                After a couple of hours there was still no sign or word from john, So the lads decide to call over to his house to make sure he is ok.
                They get there; ring the doorbell, John answers. Colin: what the **** happened to you. *Johns face is all scratched*
                John: You are not going to believe what has just ****ing happened to me”
                Colin: What, What happened?
                John: I was on my way walking home, and found a ****ing leprechaun.
                Colin: WHAT!!!! You daft cunt what are you on about?? Lol
                Jonh: I swear to god man I found a leprechaun; IV picked him up, brought him back to the house and locked him under the stairs... Come over and have a look..
                Colin: Errr Ok, Proceeds into the house and starts to hear banging and shouting * Let me out, Let me out*
                John: .......In there...... In there....... Look!!
                So Colin opens the locked door under the stairs and is shocked to find a disorientated and frightened Dwarf under the stairs!!! By this stage Colin has also just realised that he had in fact not just found a leprechaun, but it was a Dwarf that lived with his elderly mum the other end of town.....

                Comment


                  #9
                  This lunchtime we were driving back to the village where we're staying when we saw a fire in the distance.

                  I said (for reasons that are too dull to bother boring you with), "That could be an out of control fire."

                  My son said, "What do you mean?"

                  I said, "It could have been started deliberately but now it's an out of control fire."

                  He said, "What's that? I've never heard of it."

                  I said, "Eh? I meant, it's a fire that was started deliberately but is now out of control."

                  He said, "Oh, I thought you said it was an African troll fire."

                  True story.
                  .
                  Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                  May the Lord bless this post.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Did you not have your teeth in at the time?

                    Comment


                      #11


                      I think that proves I did.
                      .
                      Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                      May the Lord bless this post.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Reaper View Post
                        I dont care whether he has heard it before or not. Its still ****in funny.

                        I have been told many times that Ryan Babel will improve, but it still makes me laugh
                        Cheers

                        Subby

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