Widdle Wabbit

[brikkis]

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, do you have
any widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on
her level, and says;
"Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft, fuffy bwack wabbit, or
one like that widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

The little girl blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her
knees, leans forward and whispers ...

" I don't weally fink my pet pyfon really gives a phuk."

[brikkis]

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey".
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

[brikkis]

Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.
The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians".
Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.
He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics cross?"

[brikkis]

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?