Stuff thats pisses you off in the Prem.

[MrsB]

Not being allowed to take your shirt off to celebrate.

Oh, that's one of my pet hates!

[Reece]

Oh, that's one of my pet hates!

I bet it is you dirty pervert.

[MrsB]

I said shirt, not shorts.

[Parm]

Dyer, Bowyer, Bellamy, Woodgate, Pennant Jenas and others of their ilk-talent players, paid a fortune who just either dont care or are happy to piss their talent away.

Also Bendtner and his pink boots

[Harv]

Players telling the ref to book other players by wavng an imaginary card - **** off.

Sky's 'Grand Slam Super Sunday' hyped up bollocks.

The yellow ball for use in the winter, because I could never see the white one before - **** off Nike.

The Premier League having an "official chewing gum."

Stupid kick off times.

The amount of money in the game which, (massive generalisation), has ruined it.

Tony Adams' attempts to seem intellectual.

Oh Yes!!! ****ing yellow piece of ****. Its not like the pitches are covered in snow etc. ****ing idiots trying to bring some colour into the game.

[Elvoz]

A few pet hates to be going on with. An excuse to vent spleen if nothing else.

Soccer AM - tired blokey nonsense, populated by witless dullards and Z-list posho indie bands anxious to enhance their already failing credibility by attempting to appropriate working class culture. The clue’s in the name. It’s ‘football’ you massive splags.

Tim Lovejoy - desperate to be seen as the Pope of terrace culture, in reality he’s more like the kiddie-fiddling local priest who is able to maintain whatever f*cked -up influence he may have due to the complicit silence of a confederacy of clueless idiots. The epitome of Soccer AM’s achingly smug, patronising, geezercentric, ultimately vacuous world-view.

“Your support is f*cking sh*t” - a song which is the essence of high-art to your average Chelsea fan, and has spread like a particularly virulent dose of genital warts to every knuckle-scraping away end in the land. Tit-for tat childishness of the worst kind. It was one of the unhappiest days of my footballing life when I heard our own supporters spewing this bilge out against Newcastle recently. Just stop it. Now.

Steve Bennett - even Styles, for all his slapstick incompetence, has that ‘bumbling vulnerability’ thing going on, which makes it difficult to feel pure hatred for him. Bennett, on the other hand, is a soulless, unblinking killing machine jobsworth, with neither the wit nor the wisdom to be entrusted with control of a Hob Nob, never mind a top level football match. If he wasn’t bullied at school then I’m an Eskimo.

‘DJ’ Spoony - yes, I know he claims to be a Red. So did Michael Howard. Didn’t stop him being an invidious ****weasel. Unfortunately, for someone required to channel discussion and argue coherently on issues football-related he has yet to develop the most basic communication skills, preferring instead to offer little but tired clichés, brainless platitudes and endless casual references to his celebrity chums - Ashley, Incey, Rio, JT. And Marcus Bent. I’ve seen episodes of Bagpuss that have provided more of an intellectual stimulus. He’s like a cross between a simpleton and a buffoon. Only less so.

St James’s Park - whenever I see an overhead shot of the Geordie Valhalla, all I can think is that an uncoordinated toddler has been given a crate of Vimto and let loose in the Sticklebrick box. It’ll be nice when it’s finished, but till then it’s just a bit, well, rubbishy. Any parallels with the football team it hosts are completely intentional and a bit on the lazy side.

Mike Phelan - another dismal wretch. He carries with him more than a whiff of the deputy headmaster who’s been promoted beyond his ability and desperately wants to be seen as an authority figure, when in reality his only purpose is to pick up empty crisp packets and frown at spiders. As a player he had all the deftness of touch and technical expertise of a snowboarding pig. They must wrap Ferguson in cushions and bubblewrap whenever he leaves his house, just in case.

excellent fella i can pay no better compliment than to say its up there with most o mine

[BFG]

Having to leave the field of play after a physio has been on and then stand there like a complete prick until the ref decides it's time for you to be allowed back into the game.

'Magic spray' - I'm not aware of any aerosol that can completely heal what looks like a very serious injury in the space of 2 seconds.

Diving - I can't stand seeing fully grown men going down like they've been taken out by a high powered sniper rifle.

Sky - It's almost as if they have made up a list of complete cunts, and then employ them one by one.

Ticket prices - Paying a couple of hundred quid to take your family to a football match is sick.

[Craig_H]

Dyer, Bowyer, Bellamy, Woodgate, Pennant Jenas and others of their ilk-talent players, paid a fortune who just either dont care or are happy to piss their talent away.

Also Bendtner and his pink boots

Woodgate isnt like that. And Bellamy, whilst a bit of a divvy, is a proud and passionate player.

[wiw]

excellent fella i can pay no better compliment than to say its up there with most o mine

[The Erectile Banana]

Players being booked for overcelebrating their goals.

Is there such a thing as over celebration? It's hard enough to stick the ball in the net they should be allowed celebrate as they please.

I've always thought it was a stupid, petty rule.

[zimbo]

excellent fella i can pay no better compliment than to say its up there with most o mine

Is this what they mean by 'damning with faint praise?'

[the rev leeroy brown]

joey ****ing barton. shouldn't be allowed out of jail never mind on a premiership football pitch.

[Mike]

The pathetic attempt of a clap by Fergie when united score, watch it next time, seriously

[Joe King]

The constant dodging of invisible bullets by Fergie in his technical area.

[fah-q]

Dean Whitehead's mahoosive head