26th & 27th April Champions leagues games

[red g]

Schalke have been unable to resist poking fun at Manchester United and England in general in the programme for Tuesday's Champions League semi.

A satirical column has taken a light-hearted sideswipe at English life, including the perceived obsession with celebrity, its culinary habits and yes, the inability to win penalty shoot-outs against German teams.

"The English are going nuts this week about the wedding - no, not Katie Price this time but Prince William," gushed the column.

"England is the motherland of football of course. But they have still not learned about penalties.

"In Wayne Rooney we have the eternal favourite son-in-law for English mothers and that evergreen youngster Edwin van der Sar, who takes goalkeeping tips from Jens Lehmann. And then there is Malcolm Glazer, who for Manchester United fans is the equivalent of Lord Voldemort."

Almost 2,500 United fans are expected at the first-leg encounter, each with a similar name, according to Schalke.

"The typical Manc man is called Paul. He has darts in his right pocket and in his left pocket has a picture of a bulldog. The girls are called Samantha.

"And can you believe they put vinegar on their chips?"

[Shaggy]

A mid-table German outfit in the semis FFS. Only Man United.

[red g]

Marseille
A **** Chelsea
and Shalke

Easiest run in ever to the final.........

[Reece]

I think Shalke will win.

[Shaggy]

I think Schalke might get a result tonight but the Mancs will scab an undeserved late goal and scrape past them at their place. It'll be the same sort of **** we've seen loads of times before.

[Reece]

Nah. 2-0 tonight with Raul scoring both, and then either 0-0 or 1-0, or 1-1 back at OT. Either way, the Germans will triumph

[Shaggy]

I'd ****ing love it, LOVE IT if you're proved right.

[Reece]

I called our routing of Birmingham on Saturday (albeit on another forum). I'm on a prediction hot streak

[Chris]

**** knows what Barca are gonna do at left back, Abidal, Adriano and Maxwell all out. Will have to be Masch at centre back again and Puyol moved out there or the hapless Milito. Not good either way.

[Fernandinho]

Masch played RB for us a few times... maybe they will play him there

[wiw]

I think Shalke will win.

Nah. 2-0 tonight with Raul scoring both, and then either 0-0 or 1-0, or 1-1 back at OT. Either way, the Germans will triumph

I agree with you actually I think they'll go through, just have a feeling

So no doubt United will get a spawny goal in the first 5 minutes and the tie will fall into their lap perfectly

[dww]

I think Rooney's defensive work high up the pitch will be too much for Shalke and United will win pretty easily. Hope I'm wrong though.

[Reece]

I think Rooney's defensive work high up the pitch will be too much for Shalke and United will win pretty easily. Hope I'm wrong though.

Nah he'll get sent off in the 51st minute.

[Baracus]

Rio is one star and Utd are amazing

uke:

[Craig_H]

Schalke's chances of going through to the final are actually somehow less than zero.