My latest effort at trying to write stuff about football that makes even the slightest bit of sense. I've written things about other clubs but seeing as this one is about Crouchie I thought I'd post it on here and let you all take the piss out of me and tell me how **** it is... 
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The Times They Are a-Changin'
MARK JONES
02 April 2007
When Bob Dylan played at Manchester’s Free Trade Hall in May 1966, he was booed off stage and called a ‘Judas’ for playing with an electric band.
Many people believe that this abuse represented a turning point in Dylan’s career, and he went on to produce many legendary songs that thrilled audiences both in the UK and worldwide.
When Peter Crouch played at Manchester’s Old Trafford in October 2005, he was booed upon entering the pitch as a 67th minute substitute for England in a 2-1 win over Poland.
Crouch was in the middle of a seemingly endless goal drought. He had moved from Southampton to Liverpool that summer for a substantial fee, £7m, and looked unable to cope with the pressures of playing for both his country and the European Champions.
To put it simply, he was a national joke. Tabloid newspaper hacks would salivate with joy at every minute that went past without him scoring. Everyone in the country knew exactly how long it had been since his last goal. Crouch had nowhere to hide.
Even when he finally broke his duck for the Reds in a 3-0 win over Wigan in early December, there seemed to be a national campaign to get the goal taken away from him. People appeared to be so committed to an anti-Crouch agenda, it was a wonder that they didn’t try to take away his second goal in the same game, due perhaps to a slight deflection off a mischievous worm in the Anfield Road End goalmouth.
So where are all those Crouch-doubters now then? Well it seems that like those Dylan fans in the summer of ’66, and, in fact, Dylan himself, they’ve been forced to change their tune.
To be fair, it must be said that none of the criticism of Crouch came from inside the walls of Anfield. Rafael Benitez, his squad and, most importantly, the Liverpool fans always stood by their man and backed him to be a success.
Last Saturday, their faith was rewarded. Crouch’s stunning treble took his tally to sixteen for the season. Five of those goals have come in the Champions League, a competition in which he is leading Liverpool’s quest for their sixth triumph.
He has found himself in and out of the side this season, and although he’s not alone in that, it appeared that Benitez had decided that new recruits Dirk Kuyt and Craig Bellamy would form his preferred front two. The fact remains, however, that Liverpool always look more likely to score when Crouch is on the pitch.
Arsenal simply couldn’t cope with him at the weekend. Given excellent service by Liverpool’s Fab Four on the flanks: Jermaine Pennant, Alvaro Arbeloa, Mark Gonzalez and the impressive Fabio Aurelio, Crouch thrived and notched Liverpool’s first Premiership hat-trick since Milan Baros grabbed three against Crystal Palace in November 2004.
It must be said that Arsenal were awful, so it will be. The media reaction that followed their two cup wins at Anfield back in January seemed to suggest that they were on the verge of greatness and Liverpool’s season was over.
Less than three months on, the Gunners are out of everything and playing (or should that be Petering) out a second consecutive trophyless season. Liverpool enter battle in Eindhoven tomorrow knowing that a good result would put them on the verge of another Champions League semi-final.
The Arsenal side I saw at Anfield on Saturday is a pale shadow of the one that went the entire season unbeaten in 2003-04. The pretty football is still there at times, but what use is that if you’ve got no passion, fight or backbone?
Their fans weren’t much better either. Crying ‘hoof’ whenever a Liverpool pass went over shoulder height, conveniently ignoring the number of aimless long balls from the likes of Toure, Gallas and Eboue. Long balls? Heavens no. Arsenal just don’t do that.
By the time Crouch scored his third, those fans, like their team, had given up. The striker had grabbed the perfect hat-trick, scoring with his left, his right and his head, leading to a thousand ‘Peter Perfect’ headlines screaming out from Sunday newspapers. Who’d have thought we’d ever be seeing that back in the early winter of 2005?
So there we have it. An article about Peter Crouch without one mention of words such as ‘beanpole’, ‘lanky’ or the dreaded ‘good touch for a big man’. Crouch is simply a very good striker, and, like Dylan, is laughing last and loudest.
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The Times They Are a-Changin'
MARK JONES
02 April 2007
When Bob Dylan played at Manchester’s Free Trade Hall in May 1966, he was booed off stage and called a ‘Judas’ for playing with an electric band.
Many people believe that this abuse represented a turning point in Dylan’s career, and he went on to produce many legendary songs that thrilled audiences both in the UK and worldwide.
When Peter Crouch played at Manchester’s Old Trafford in October 2005, he was booed upon entering the pitch as a 67th minute substitute for England in a 2-1 win over Poland.
Crouch was in the middle of a seemingly endless goal drought. He had moved from Southampton to Liverpool that summer for a substantial fee, £7m, and looked unable to cope with the pressures of playing for both his country and the European Champions.
To put it simply, he was a national joke. Tabloid newspaper hacks would salivate with joy at every minute that went past without him scoring. Everyone in the country knew exactly how long it had been since his last goal. Crouch had nowhere to hide.
Even when he finally broke his duck for the Reds in a 3-0 win over Wigan in early December, there seemed to be a national campaign to get the goal taken away from him. People appeared to be so committed to an anti-Crouch agenda, it was a wonder that they didn’t try to take away his second goal in the same game, due perhaps to a slight deflection off a mischievous worm in the Anfield Road End goalmouth.
So where are all those Crouch-doubters now then? Well it seems that like those Dylan fans in the summer of ’66, and, in fact, Dylan himself, they’ve been forced to change their tune.
To be fair, it must be said that none of the criticism of Crouch came from inside the walls of Anfield. Rafael Benitez, his squad and, most importantly, the Liverpool fans always stood by their man and backed him to be a success.
Last Saturday, their faith was rewarded. Crouch’s stunning treble took his tally to sixteen for the season. Five of those goals have come in the Champions League, a competition in which he is leading Liverpool’s quest for their sixth triumph.
He has found himself in and out of the side this season, and although he’s not alone in that, it appeared that Benitez had decided that new recruits Dirk Kuyt and Craig Bellamy would form his preferred front two. The fact remains, however, that Liverpool always look more likely to score when Crouch is on the pitch.
Arsenal simply couldn’t cope with him at the weekend. Given excellent service by Liverpool’s Fab Four on the flanks: Jermaine Pennant, Alvaro Arbeloa, Mark Gonzalez and the impressive Fabio Aurelio, Crouch thrived and notched Liverpool’s first Premiership hat-trick since Milan Baros grabbed three against Crystal Palace in November 2004.
It must be said that Arsenal were awful, so it will be. The media reaction that followed their two cup wins at Anfield back in January seemed to suggest that they were on the verge of greatness and Liverpool’s season was over.
Less than three months on, the Gunners are out of everything and playing (or should that be Petering) out a second consecutive trophyless season. Liverpool enter battle in Eindhoven tomorrow knowing that a good result would put them on the verge of another Champions League semi-final.
The Arsenal side I saw at Anfield on Saturday is a pale shadow of the one that went the entire season unbeaten in 2003-04. The pretty football is still there at times, but what use is that if you’ve got no passion, fight or backbone?
Their fans weren’t much better either. Crying ‘hoof’ whenever a Liverpool pass went over shoulder height, conveniently ignoring the number of aimless long balls from the likes of Toure, Gallas and Eboue. Long balls? Heavens no. Arsenal just don’t do that.
By the time Crouch scored his third, those fans, like their team, had given up. The striker had grabbed the perfect hat-trick, scoring with his left, his right and his head, leading to a thousand ‘Peter Perfect’ headlines screaming out from Sunday newspapers. Who’d have thought we’d ever be seeing that back in the early winter of 2005?
So there we have it. An article about Peter Crouch without one mention of words such as ‘beanpole’, ‘lanky’ or the dreaded ‘good touch for a big man’. Crouch is simply a very good striker, and, like Dylan, is laughing last and loudest.
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