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I'm not gay...Torres appreciation thread

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    I'm not gay...Torres appreciation thread

    Or at least I didnt think I was until this season. Unfortunately with the arrival of Fernando Torres my whole concept of sexuality has been turned upside down. I have even told my fiancee that Torres is now om my 5 celebs that i'm allowed to sleep with if I have the good fortune to meet them in my lifetime. She seems perfectly alright with this turn of events, if not overly delighted that I'm now considering engaging in some man-love.

    I get a fuzzy feeling in my loins when I watch him play, much along the lines of the feeling I used to get in maths class on a hot day when the overdeveloped Melissa Sanders got a bit sweaty. When I'm daydreaming, the images of Torres scoring goals for LFC now dominate the arena previously occupied by melissa thiureau, jennifer anniston and a young kathleen turner.

    I used to scoff at girls who break down and cry when they get to see/meet their boyband idols and so forth, but now I'm beginning to understand where they are coming from.

    As Avid Merrion would say, I'd like to bum him.

    Is this wrong?
    Last edited by Jazzmaster; 06-03-08, 05:03 PM.
    Fernando Torres

    I dont just love him, I'm IN love with him

    #2
    Originally posted by Jazzmaster View Post
    Or at least I didnt think I was until this season. Unfortunately with the arrival of Fernando Torres my whole concept sexuality has been turned upside down. I have even told my fiancee that Torres is now om my 5 celebs that i'm allowed to sleep with if I have the good fortune to meet them in my lifetime. She seems perfectly alright with this turn of events, if not overly delighted that I'm now considering engaging in some man-love.

    I get a fuzzy feeling in my loins when I watch him play, much along the lines of the feeling I used to get in maths class on a hot day when the overdeveloped Melissa Sanders got a bit sweaty. When I'm daydreaming, the images of Torres scoring goals for LFC now dominate the arena previously occupied by melissa thiureau, jennifer anniston and a young kathleen turner.

    I used to scoff at girls who break down and cry when they get to see/meet their boyband idols and so forth, but now I'm beginning to understand where they are coming from.

    As David Merrion would say, I'd like to bum him.

    Is this wrong?
    RAFA! RAFAEL! RAFA! RAFAEL! RAFA! RAFAEL! RAFAEL BENITEZ!

    Comment


      #3
      Were you hot in that closet?
      "Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Jazzmaster View Post
        Or at least I didnt think I was until this season. Unfortunately with the arrival of Fernando Torres my whole concept sexuality has been turned upside down. I have even told my fiancee that Torres is now om my 5 celebs that i'm allowed to sleep with if I have the good fortune to meet them in my lifetime. She seems perfectly alright with this turn of events, if not overly delighted that I'm now considering engaging in some man-love.

        I get a fuzzy feeling in my loins when I watch him play, much along the lines of the feeling I used to get in maths class on a hot day when the overdeveloped Melissa Sanders got a bit sweaty. When I'm daydreaming, the images of Torres scoring goals for LFC now dominate the arena previously occupied by melissa thiureau, jennifer anniston and a young kathleen turner.

        I used to scoff at girls who break down and cry when they get to see/meet their boyband idols and so forth, but now I'm beginning to understand where they are coming from.

        As David Merrion would say, I'd like to bum him.

        Is this wrong?
        **** OFF HICKS AND GILLETT WE DON'T WANT YOU.

        Comment


          #5


          David Merrion?!
          Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

          Comment


            #6
            Avid Merrion Mate Bo Selecta!!!!

            My missus wants a go on El Nino, but I think i'll just stick with him getting me a few match tickets in return as opposed to letting him see the contents of my trousers
            "Through me the way into the suffering city,
            Through me the way to the eternal pain,
            Through me the way that runs among the lost.
            Justice urged on my high artificer;
            My maker was divine authority,
            The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
            Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
            And I endure eternally.
            Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


            And like that… he's gone

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by The Reaper View Post
              Avid Merrion Mate Bo Selecta!!!!
              Swiftly edits post
              Fernando Torres

              I dont just love him, I'm IN love with him

              Comment


                #8
                Wow, this really is getting a little overboard

                Comment


                  #9
                  Thinking of changing your name to Jizzmaster.
                  "One day the people will understand."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    If I come home tonight and missus pacman is taking his man flute I'll tuck him in and make him a brew.
                    Last edited by Pacman; 06-03-08, 01:11 PM.
                    **** OFF HICKS AND GILLETT WE DON'T WANT YOU.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Pacman View Post
                      If I come home tonight and missus pacman is taking his man flute I'll tuck them in and make him a brew.
                      Tuck what in exactly?

                      You suggestin you normally walk into your gaff with yer spuds hanging out just in case like?
                      "Through me the way into the suffering city,
                      Through me the way to the eternal pain,
                      Through me the way that runs among the lost.
                      Justice urged on my high artificer;
                      My maker was divine authority,
                      The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
                      Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
                      And I endure eternally.
                      Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."


                      And like that… he's gone

                      Comment


                        #12
                        The smiley needs to be changed to :torres:
                        Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it

                        Comment


                          #13
                          If the team go back to having their Christmas Party at Garlands, they'll have to put the City Centre on military lockdown to minimize the carnage....

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Maestro View Post
                            The smiley needs to be changed to :torres:
                            Agreed

                            Comment


                              #15

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