An Open Letter from Andrei Voronin

[Charly]

Dear supporters of Liverpool FC,

I hope you liked my pony tail.

The undercut was a mistake, and I am growing it out as I write.

I will never forget the time I nearly scored an important goal when I went one-on-one with the keeper at Sunderland last season, and missed. And of course my goal of the century in Toulouse. Who could forget that?! My pony looked particularly good just as I struck the ball, and I have a poster of that very image on the wall of my outside toilet here at my new home just outside Berlin.

I'm very pleased with my pony and how it withstood the banter at Melwood. Big Martin Skrtel used to call me a poof and it made me laugh. He said it once in the canteen and I laughed so much I had Lucozade Isotonic Sport coming out of my nostrils.

I will miss most my close proximity to Granada Studios in nearby Manchester. I was often told to stay away from training so I would spend my days in the studio audience at The Jeremy Kyle Show. It was free to get in but my status as a Liverpool player enabled me to skip the queue outside and go straight in. There were some great people on that show. The only downer was that I wasn't allowed to wear clothing that displayed logos and nor was I allowed to wear my baseball cap. The cap did wonders for my pony...made it look even better. Still, one can't have it all.

Bye.

Andriy Voronin

Man, thats the funniest thing I read for ages...

[Tatterdemalion]

It was actually a bit more of a tease aimed at JAR...

[Kronenburg1892]

dear supporters of liverpool fc,

i hope you liked my pony tail.

The undercut was a mistake, and i am growing it out as i write.

I will never forget the time i nearly scored an important goal when i went one-on-one with the keeper at sunderland last season, and missed. And of course my goal of the century in toulouse. Who could forget that?! My pony looked particularly good just as i struck the ball, and i have a poster of that very image on the wall of my outside toilet here at my new home just outside berlin.

I'm very pleased with my pony and how it withstood the banter at melwood. Big martin skrtel used to call me a poof and it made me laugh. He said it once in the canteen and i laughed so much i had lucozade isotonic sport coming out of my nostrils.

I will miss most my close proximity to granada studios in nearby manchester. I was often told to stay away from training so i would spend my days in the studio audience at the jeremy kyle show. It was free to get in but my status as a liverpool player enabled me to skip the queue outside and go straight in. There were some great people on that show. The only downer was that i wasn't allowed to wear clothing that displayed logos and nor was i allowed to wear my baseball cap. The cap did wonders for my pony...made it look even better. Still, one can't have it all.

Bye.

Andriy voronin

lmfao

[Sisterstiffticket]

Dear LFC Fans

Thanks for the wages and the opportunity to pillage your great club

To Jermaine Pennant....keep up the poor work. You're onto a winner there

The Crow

[Sisterstiffticket]

What's with the TKMAXX and 'leopard skin tracksuits' references?

[Joe King]

What's with the TKMAXX and 'leopard skin tracksuits' references?

[Sisterstiffticket]

Thanks for that Ben...I see now. And I must say...It suits him but who's his boyfriend?

[Reaper]

Id tap it

[Sisterstiffticket]

Id tap it

Water thing to say...honestly Reap, sometimes, you really plumb the depths....i bet youd have to fawcett on her too, eh? and would you go for a leak before or after? And would you washer first?



****...I'm in Carry On mode again. Time for bed.
G'nite Reap mate. Sweet dreams!