Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Bad Joke Thread Vol 2

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 5
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
    #1

    Bad Joke Thread Vol 2

    After AF's recent blunder which resulted in all our fabulous jokes being deleted I feel it is only right and proper that like the proverbial phoenix, the bad jokes should rise from the ashes.

    I need the thread back so i can refer to it and dazzle and entertain my work colleagues with a witty repartee every morning

    I mean who can forget classics like

    'what's red and invisible?'
    'No tomatoes'

    genius - I mean that's got to be the worst joke I have ever heard.

    Anyway, over to you (and me, coz I just can't stop punning)
    https://www.needlesandgrooves.com/

    https://twitter.com/NeedlesNGrooves
    Tags: None
    #2
    What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

    Great big holes all over Australia
    I could not dig, I dared not rob:
    Therefore I lied to please the mob.
    Now all my lies are proved untrue
    And I must face the men I slew.
    What tale shall serve me here among
    Mine angry and defrauded young?

    Comment

      #3
      does anyone remember the good old Skoda jokes from back in the days..

      What do you call a Skoda convertable?...................skip

      what do you call a Skoda Convertable with twin exhausts.............wheelbarrow

      What do you call a Skoda on top of a hill?....................... a miracle

      What do you call two Skodas on top of a hill...........a mirage

      How do you double the price of a Skoda....................add petrol
      Last edited by captain-caveman; 11-01-07, 05:47 PM. Reason: more jokes!
      Lets just get on with the job and see how it pans out at the end.

      Comment

        #4
        How do you know when a woman is having a bad day?

        She's got a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil........
        https://www.needlesandgrooves.com/

        https://twitter.com/NeedlesNGrooves

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by captain-caveman View Post
          does anyone remember the good old Skoda jokes from back in the days..

          What do you call a Skoda convertable?...................skip

          what do you call a Skoda Convertable with twin exhausts.............wheelbarrow

          What do you call a Skoda on top of a hill?....................... a miracle

          What do you call two Skodas on top of a hill...........a mirage

          How do you double the price of a Skoda....................add petrol
          What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof?....................A Skoda Estelle Sport, it's got alloy wheels and everything.
          .
          Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



          May the Lord bless this post.

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Neil Young View Post
            What do you call a Skoda with a sun roof?....................A Skoda Estelle Sport, it's got alloy wheels and everything.
            I remember them!!!!

            As well as:

            What do you call a skoda with it windows wound don? A bottle Bank

            and

            Why do Skodas have heated rear windscreens? To keep your hands warm when your pushing them!!

            Comment

              #7
              Why were the suspenders arrested?

              For holding up a pair of pants.
              i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

              Comment

                #8
                Two parrots were sitting on a perch. One said to the other, "It smells fishy around here."
                i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                Comment

                  #9
                  What do you give a dog with a fever?
                  Mustard. (It's good for a hot dog.)
                  i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

                    They're making headlines!
                    i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                    Comment

                      #11
                      What's Mary short for?

                      She's got no legs
                      i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                      Comment

                        #12
                        A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

                        The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
                        i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

                          In his sleevies.
                          i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Originally posted by PTP View Post
                            Why were the suspenders arrested?

                            For holding up a pair of pants.
                            shouldn't that be a pair of stockings? Unless of course you/your girlfriend are wearing a new radical suspender design
                            https://www.needlesandgrooves.com/

                            https://twitter.com/NeedlesNGrooves

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Originally posted by captainfog View Post
                              shouldn't that be a pair of stockings? Unless of course you/your girlfriend are wearing a new radical suspender design
                              It's American I reckon.

                              It could be:
                              Why were the suspenders arrested? For holding up a pair of stockings.

                              Or:
                              Why were the suspenders arrested? For holding up a pair of socks.

                              Or:
                              Why were the suspenders arrested? For shouting abuse at Saddam as they hanged him.
                              .
                              Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                              May the Lord bless this post.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 3 4 5 template Next
                              Working...
                              X