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    Julius Caesar

    Julius Caesar is addressing the Roman crowd. "Friends Romans and
    Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to
    conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill
    many Gauls and return victorious."

    The crowd is up on their feet
    "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"

    Brutus turns to his mate and says " He doesn't half talk some shi*e eh?
    He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag." Six months later,
    Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the
    Coliseum. "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our
    campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls".

    The crowd is up on their feet again.
    "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar".

    Brutus once again turns to his mate Cassius "I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off
    to France to check this out."
    Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to
    Rome.
    Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again "Friends, Romans
    and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to
    sort those *******s out"

    The crowd is up on their feet."Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail
    mighty Caesar"

    Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that
    you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it
    out and you only killed 25,000!!!!"

    The crowd is stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and
    looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says, "Brutus,
    you are forgetting one thing . ........Away Gauls count double in Europe."

























    ouch
    Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it

    #2

    Comment


      #3
      Groan!
      Wit is educated insolence. Wannabe Lurker!

      Comment


        #4
        Just one problem there mate - it was Mark Anthony who used the line "Friends , Romans , Countrymen..."






































        I'll get me pedantic jacket .
        "Every time i sit around i find i'm shot."


        La-di-da-di free John Gotti

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          #5


          La tristesse durera toujours

          Comment


            #6

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              #7
              Originally posted by MARTINOZ View Post
              Just one problem there mate - it was Mark Anthony who used the line "Friends , Romans , Countrymen..."






































              I'll get me pedantic jacket .
              The words are actually used by William Shakespeare for his play Julius Caesar, if I recall correctly.
              In the play, however, they were indeed uttered by Marc Antony...
              Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Maestro View Post
                The words are actually used by William Shakespeare for his play Julius Caesar, if I recall correctly.
                In the play, however, they were indeed uttered by Marc Antony...
                and Caesar was dead...



                Eto'o = brute.

                (That one was for Neil - you know who you are )

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Maestro View Post
                  The words are actually used by William Shakespeare for his play Julius Caesar, if I recall correctly.
                  In the play, however, they were indeed uttered by Marc Antony...
                  That's what I said - get your own coat .
                  "Every time i sit around i find i'm shot."


                  La-di-da-di free John Gotti

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Helios Creed View Post
                    and Caesar was dead...



                    Eto'o = brute.

                    (That one was for Neil - you know who you are )
                    I met Julius Caesar once.

                    It was in a school play.
                    .
                    Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                    May the Lord bless this post.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Neil Young View Post
                      I met Julius Caesar once.

                      It was in a school play.
                      I met Mary in my University Nativity play.She wasn`t a virgin.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Quinncy View Post
                        I met Mary in my University Nativity play.She wasn`t a virgin.
                        But you were.
                        .
                        Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                        May the Lord bless this post.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          According to Plutarch and the writings of scholar Brendan Woods, the whole Gallic campaign resulted in 800 conquered cities, 300 subdued tribes, one million men sold to slavery and another three million dead in battle fields. Ancient historians notoriously exaggerated numbers of this kind, but Caesar's conquest of Gaul was certainly one of the greatest military invasions since the campaigns of Alexander the Great.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Neil Young View Post
                            I met Julius Caesar once.

                            It was in a school play.
                            did he corpse?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Helios Creed View Post
                              did he corpse?
                              No but he died on stage.
                              .
                              Suppose you have a physicist and a sociologist standing at the side of a field, observing a set of events unfolding on the field. The physicist does [describes] it using the terminology of mass and velocity and frequency of radiation and the rest. And the sociologist does it by describing it as a rugby match.



                              May the Lord bless this post.

                              Comment

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