Paddy jokes

[KK07]

I'm not happy with this thread,FACT!

[IrishPaul]

A Kerryman is walking past a field in Kerry when he spots another Kerryman rowing a boat in the middle of the field.

So he stops and shouts over to the other fella "What the hell are ye doin'?? It's feckin' eejits like you that give us Kerrymen a bad name!!! I've a good mind to go over to ye and give ye a thump!!!"


"Well why don't ye then!!??" shouts the Kerryman in the boat




"Cos I can't feckin' swim!!!"

[IrishPaul]

Paddy is walking through a feild when he sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

So he shouts in Irish "Na ol an t-uisce, ta se lan de chac bo!!" (Don't drink that water, it's full of cow****!!)

The man shouts back "I'm British, speak English, I don't understand you"

Paddy replies "Use both hands, you'll get more in!!!"

[bazza76]

Paddy is walking through a feild when he sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

So he shouts in Irish "Na ol an t-uisce, ta se lan de chac bo!!" (Don't drink that water, it's full of cow****!!)

The man shouts back "I'm British, speak English, I don't understand you"

Paddy replies "Use both hands, you'll get more in!!!"

[Le Chef]

Why do all teh Chinese people live in Harrow ?



When they get of the plane at Heathrow they say Harro Mr Taxi Driver

[badpiggy]

I'm not happy with this thread,FACT!

seriously? lets hear a few n/igger jokes kaip

[Kaip]

seriously? lets hear a few n/igger jokes kaip

Dont know any....................How about you ???






Seamus Murphy phoned Aer Lingus. "How long does it take to fly from Dublin to Boston?"

"Just a minute, sir."

"Ah that's quick. "And he hung up.

[KK07]

Dont know any....................How about you ???

You've been warned,that's twice now,don't make me end our beautiful friendship.

[Kaip]

You've been warned,that's twice now,don't make me end our beautiful friendship.

OK Norm

[KK07]

OK Norm

I was thinking of changing my avatar but I like the one I have.

RH's avatar is making me sick,it's like a bad trip,I'v been avoiding her posts all day......*



*Insert witty comment here

[Kaip]

*



*Insert witty comment here

OK then


An Irish couple were on holiday in Florida when they saw a sign saying,

"helicopter tours 200 dollars."

The husband turned to his wife and said:

"sure, isn’t that a lot of money just to look around a helicopter?"

[KK07]

Now that's funny!!

[DeeGame]

great jokes

[Ritchi3]

>Two Irishmen walk into the pet shop in Dingle. They head into the bird
>section where paddy says to Gerry, "Dat's dem". The owner asks if he
can
>help them.
>"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up
there,"
>says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies into a paper bag. Paddy and
Gerry
>pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive
to
>the top of ConnorPass.
>At the ConnorPass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says,
"Dis
>looks like a grand place." He takes two of the birds out of the bag,
>puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as
>Gerry falls to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
>Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and
>says, "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumpin' is too fook'n dangerous for me !"
>
>THERE'S MORE..........
>
>Moments later, Seamus arrives up at the ConnorPass.
>He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff
>carrying a paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
>"Hullo Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says.
>He removes a Parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of
the
>cliff.
>Paddy watches as halfway down, Seamus aims the gun and shoots the
>Parrot.
>Seamus continues to plummet down until he too hits bottom, breaks every

>bone in his body and is smashed to a pulp.
>Paddy shakes his head and says, " And I'm never trying dat
>parrotshooting either ! "
>
>IT'S NOT OVER YET..........
>
>
>Paddy is just gettting over the shock of losing two of his friends when

>Sean O'Leary appears.
>He also has a paper bag out which he pulls a chicken.
>He grabs the chicken by each wing and also hurls himself over the
cliff,
>disappearing down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
>Once again Paddy is shaking his head.
>"Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry wit his budgie-jumpin', den
Seamus
>parrotshooting and now Sean O'Leary and his fook'n hengliding !!"

[Subby]

****in classics! here's some more

a man walks up to another man. "why am i in prison?" he asks. "because you're black and all black people are criminals!"

a man goes into a shop. "just this loaf of bread thanks" he says to the shopkeeper. "that'll be 10 pounds" says the shopkeeper. "wow that's expensive says the man. "yes but i'm jewish " says the shopkeeper oozing drool from his hooked nose as he grabbed the money from the foolish customer.

a man walks up to a woman. "how much for a shag?" he enquires. "i'm sorry but i think you've made a mistake" said the silly airhead who should have been cleaning a blowjob while giving birth in a nurses uniform. "no i haven't - you are a woman ergo you are a prostitute".

a welsh family are just finishing a sumptious dinner of boiled leeks and coal. the mother leads a number of sheep into the kitchen. "come on boyos - lets get ****in these beauties" sang the father in a deep baritone.

:whatever: