The top 100 forum quotes

[cobain]

#4880 +(169)- [X]
<l0wkey> do any of you wonder why pubic hair doesnt get as long as normal hair


#20290 +(1163)- [X]
<partyman> hallo
<partyman> hei
<sara> ?
<partyman> hallo
<sara> what?
<partyman> k&#230;m e du?
<sara> i don't want to talk, i am not norwegian, i have a boyfriend, i don't want to cyber, i'm not someone you know, i have had this nick for 5 years so i didn't steal it, i have a boyfriend, we are happy, i don't want to netsex
<partyman> okei
<partyman> do you want netsex?

[cobain]

What a definition of failure! I'll use this the next time ManU supporter tries to take the piss.

#22202 +(2286)- [X]

The_Fur: where do i fail again?
BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion. Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to call "****ing." After which, you failed to enhance your brain to a proper level.
BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too, whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a small schoolgirl.
BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court, where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail raped and then murdered by a fatman
BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your subsequent failure to live
BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science, where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail, killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail, making somebody pee everywhere

[Rhys]

that bloodninja one is ****ing funny

[cobain]

But this one is definitely one of my favourites:

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie ([email protected]) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

[cobain]

#417027 +(493)- [X]

R0ry &#187; what shall i get my bro for his bday
R0ry &#187; he's 25
bazmalti &#187; an anal probe?
bazmalti &#187; lol
R0ry &#187; i said 25
R0ry &#187; not german



#571740 +(2064)- [X]

DerANgeD: not cool! ctrl+w closes firefox
DerANgeD: I was trying to press shift+w and accidentally hit my ctrl button
Triumph: whats shift+w?
DerANgeD: a capital W dumbass



<naet> i got my sat scores bak
<naet> 540 verball and 500 math
<naet> so thats liek 900 total
<Go> right


<@Campbell> I saw the best thing today... I was around at a mates place and these Jehovah's Witnesses came around preaching their ****
<@Campbell> So my mate invites them in and sits down and offers them pizza and cookies.
<@Campbell> After about 15 minutes they left very happy.
<@Campbell> We spotted them about an hour later lying in a park staring at the sky
<@Campbell> I guess those hash cookies and that magic mushie pizza really did its job.
<@Campbell> Who said drugs were bad?!



#88482 +(1341)- [X]

Unregistered> I think shes finally lost it...she sitting in the corner going *beep* *beep* and pretending shes a computer in the hope I will pay attention to her....

[Subby]

just been sick....my dinner now in the loo

fist time I've laughed myself till I've been sick

....but I don't care as I've never laughed so much for so long in my life

what a class read

[Red_Polo]

<wombat> Bukkake is when a Mommy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy and a Daddy all decide that Mommy needs some special facial moisturiser

Hahahahahaha

[tomasjj]

Bloodninja is coops

[cobain]

#120413 +(214)- [X]

<Calaveron> I'm so sick and tired of gay people on message boards adding to their signatures
<Calaveron> "PROUD TO BE GAY"
<Calaveron> And fruity colors
<Calaveron> I mean
<Calaveron> WTF?
<Calaveron> Fine, you can be gay, I don't care
<mog> i love peer
<mog> it pwned cass good
<Calaveron> Don't be flaunting it, then it's annoying and you get all bitchy when someone complains and thinks he's a homophobe
* mog Random Mp3 - Queen - Killer Queen.mp3 - Size: 3.45MB - Length: 3mins 2secs
<Calaveron> I'm straight
<Calaveron> I don't go adding pirate flags to my signatures
<Calaveron> "PROUD TO NOT SUCK COCKS"
<mog> lol
* cass has joined #herpes
* ChanServ sets mode: +o cass
<mog> ****
<mog> spoke too soon
<draik]> wb
<Calaveron> pirate flags with boobies and skull and crossbones and all that
* mog is now known as asspirate
<asspirate> YAR
<draik]> rofl
<asspirate> SHIVER ME COLON AND BLOW MY LOAD
<asspirate> THERE BE TREASURE IN THAT BOYS ASS
<draik]> lmao
<asspirate> yar
<asspirate> me n firs mate willy
<asspirate> thar be dragons to, yar
<asspirate> flamin dragons
<asspirate> with cacks as long as tha sea
<asspirate> yar
<asspirate> got' dig deep fer ye gold
<asspirate> yar

[Subby]

#455441 +(796)- [X]

<BoTGoD> In the wet season, when my house lies at the eye of a particularly savage thunderstorm storm, lightning all around and power out, i like to masturbate - it makes me feel like i am thor.

[cobain]

<cheerios> LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT:
<cheerios> 1. You Are Different and That's Bad
<cheerios> 2. The Boy Who Died From Eating Too Many Vegetables
<cheerios> 3. Daddy's New Wife Robert
<cheerios> 4. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
<cheerios> 5. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
<cheerios> 6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
<cheerios> 7. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
<cheerios> 8. Grandpa Gets a Casket
<cheerios> 9. Strangers Have the Best Candy
<cheerios> 10. You Were an Accident
<cheerios> 11. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
<cheerios> 12. Sometimes Your Nightmares Are Real
<cheerios> 13. And Where Would You Like to Be Buried, Li'l Timmy?
<cheerios> 14. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
<cheerios> 15. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry




#349135 +(5636)- [X]

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes


#416173 +(816)- [X]

<Kathryn> y'know, its sad when you have to fake an orgasm while masturbating


#41255 +(529)- [X]

<reverb> ive been with my girlfriend for 16 years
* reverb looks at righ hand
<reverb> sometimes we have threesomes
* reverb looks at left hand

[Subby]

#16112 +(902)- [X]

<@ataribaby> did you know birds actually have sex?
<@ataribaby> that disturbs me
<@shagman> you didn't think they did?
<@shagman> they just divided into new birds?

[Maestro]

This has to be one of the best threads I've seen here....****ing quality!

[Subby]

#71975 +(1075)- [X]

<Raven> spread the word of jesus my brother
<Jonesy> j----e---s----u---s

[Dan]

hahahaha