Crap Jokes

[little dave hedgehog]

that omlette bit gave me cancer.

[slaine]

ovarian?

[Subby]

As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.

"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.

"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."

He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."

"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone? I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"

"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."

Casually, I knocked my phone off the table..........

[sean_lfc]

Liek.

I have an old Nokia phone myself, the battery runs for nearly a week, it calls, it texts. Done. It even has a colour display

[AnfieldForever]

Liek.

I have an old Nokia phone myself, the battery runs for nearly a week, it calls, it texts. Done. It even has a colour display

When my phone was getting repaired I got a ****ty old Nokia for a week, it had a big "BLUETOOTH" sticker on it and I didn't have to charge it once!

I miss snake

[Exiled_red]

So true, those phones were indestructible I had one all through uni and drunkenly dropped it so many times but it was always fine.

[Kenneth]

I still have one of these as my backup phone.



Titanium body. Cost me an absolute ****ing fortune when it was new.

[sean_lfc]

Vintage mobiles for the win!

I used to have the press-the-button-out-flicks-the-bottom-half-of-the-phone-matrix-style Nokia. In those days I was also a weed dealer and thought I was on top of the world, Matrix, Neo, phone flick, '20 bag coming up' Awww, good times! Can't believe it's been nearly 10 years!

When I first moved to England for uni in 2004, I didn't bother with a mobile phone. For 2 years I had a home phone and an answering machine! It was immense! If I was out, I was out! I used to just go round people's houses and...*shock horror* ring the doorbell!!!

[Boogs]

Monkey chants have disrupted England's training session in Krakow today. John Terry has been warned, if he does it again he'll be sent home.....

[Kenneth]

[DeanoUK]

You know, I wouldn't put it past him.

[Subby]

I think this European championship has really demonstrated something about names in each country:

Poland - there are a lot of -skis, like Lewandowski
Croatia - lots of -ics, like Modric
Russia - lots of -ovs, like Zhirkov
France - loads and loads of ******s, like Evra

[Gray]

A little well known fact about English striker Danny Welbeck......His father, Stan is a bomb disposal expert.

[Chazza]

[sean_lfc]