Crap Jokes

[Liverpel]

I think you need to look at the answers above and read the rules (again?) and you will find that it's not just racism that isn't acceptable, and the problem is rather that the mods are not a perfect panopticon and need the posts reported to act.

Nice word.

[MrMichael]

There is a very obvious, common sense difference between a "bad taste" joke and one about black people and slavery. I hate this thread in general myself, but trust the common decency of people here, well, not to go too far. Bloody hell, no amount of pedantry justifies that sort of "humour" in any circumstance

[RedReet]

Quit getting my hopes up. Logged in to find loads of posts in the bad jokes thread thinking there's a few jokes to laugh at and it's all serious mod ****

I was hoping for some more quality insults.

[cream]

I was hoping for some more quality insults.

Great idea for a new thread...

[kev776]

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. But tell me ...What made you come here?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with ya Father. A while back, I misplaced me *******' hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy replied, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's ******' hat after all."

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', you decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell."

Murphy slowly shook his head. "No, Father, ....after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left me******' hat."

[meffin]

you what? so gays, lesbians, disabled, downs syndromes, Chinese, Indians and every other ****ing denomination known to man or beast is ok for a joke, but heaven forbid someone mentions black people. you ****ing littel Hitler clown

[Stanbull]

My grandad says every morning when he measures his allotment it is a couple of inches smaller than the day before.I think the old ****er is slowly losing the plot!

[Stanbull]

BREAKING NEWS : Kieran Gibbs has been found guilty in the Oscar Pistorious Murder Trial

[Tee]

BREAKING NEWS : Kieran Gibbs has been found guilty in the Oscar Pistorious Murder Trial

Genuine LOL.

[Subby]

i dont get it

[Yozza]

i dont get it

Ha ha....

He was blamed for the handball..... Blame him for everything else?!

[Subby]

ah right...whoooosh

[tufty]

ah right...whoooosh

kinell mate, good job your a computer whizz

[kev776]

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in theyellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes.
The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull."What are you going to do", the homeowner asks?
"I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I’m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
So the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shotgun and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What’s the shotgun for..?" asks the homeowner.
"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot that ****ing dog..!"

[Scaramanga]

Haha.