I snorted coke once but it was no fun, the icecubes got snuck up me nose
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Ah but Jack Tweed is in jail. So chances are he is already having sex with skin heads.. against his wishes of course..Originally posted by The Glove View PostDear Matt Lucas,
I am sorry to hear about the suicide of your ex. I for one find you very attractive and youremind me of my ex who sadly has also passed away.
If you want to hook up give me a call.
Yours
Jack Tweed"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's gone
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Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and spots his ex about to jump off.
“Sheila, what the **** are you doing?”
She looks round in tears.
“G’day Bruce. You got me pregnant and left me, so now I’m going to kill myself.”
“Strewth Sheila,” said Bruce, “you’re not only a great shag but a bloody good sport as well!”Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’
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FIRST TIME SEX
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'I make no apologies, this is me
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You'll Never Walk Alone
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