FFS. that one is "what do you do if there's an epileptic in your bath? throw in your dirty clothes." the ignornace about epilepsy in the last couple of jokes is saddening.
-
Felching ≠ Gerbilling -
Im sure it is. But have a read of this title. ffs who gives a ****?? its a JOKE! sicker the better! its the only place we arnt censored!!
When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use.Comment
-
whoosh!!!Felching ≠ GerbillingComment
-
You total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bathOriginally posted by kingfunk View Post
He choked on a sock!!
I have one word to offer - honesty. I couldn't be devious if I tried. Joe Fagan.Comment
-
Originally posted by wavydavy View PostYou total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bath
He choked on a sock!!
Comment
-
Originally posted by wavydavy View PostYou total cunt!! I had a brother who was epileptic and he actually died in the bath
He choked on a sock!!
Now that IS GOOD!!!!
"That's how I found myself on the Kop that day I had my blue-and-white scarf safely tucked away inside my coat as I listened to Liverpool songs and swayed with the masses.
Then City scored and I screeched and this big bloke, a Liverpool supporter, made towards me and I thought he was going to throttle me. But he just pulled my scarf from under my coat so it lay on the outside, and said: "You should always be proud of your colours, lad."
Lee Chapman - Arsenal and England defenderComment
-
So Andrew Lloyd Webber has cancer.
Well lets hope he's not going to make a song and dance about it.Comment
-
I see that Michael Jacksons new film is rated PG.
Even in death the cunt cant be trusted with kids on their own.Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.Comment
-
Glove man.. for that joke you win ten internets 
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
-
Whats 5 foot long and keeps women up screaming allnight?
Cot death.When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope we use.Comment
-
A hillbilly fella walks up to his sister with a sheep under his arm.
"Honey," he says, "This is the pig I **** when you’ve got your period."
His sister spits back, "For starters Einstein, that’s a sheep."
The hillbilly replies, "Well for starters I wasn’t talking to you."You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But A Pencil Must Be Lead!Comment
-
A missionary gets sent into the deepest darkest Africa, and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write, and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing that he particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin.
"Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!!!"
One day, the wife of one of the tribes’s noblemen gave birth to a white child. The village is shocked, and the chief is then sent by his people to talk with the missionary.
"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black women gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. I know what you’ve done!"
The missionary replies: "Oh, no, my good man - you are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, called an albino. LOOK IN YONDER FIELD! You see a field of white sheep, yet amongst them is one black sheep. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief pauses a moment, and then says, "Tell you what - you don’t say anything about the sheep, I won’t say anything about the kid."You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But A Pencil Must Be Lead!Comment
-
After her fifth child, Carol decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory - cos her gammon was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace.
Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she’d tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot, rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from ?" she asked the nurse, "They’re very nice but I’m a bit confused as to why I’ve received them."
"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks"
"Ahhh, that’s really nice" said Carol
"The second is from your husband - he’s delighted the operation was such a success that he can’t wait to get you home. Apparently it’ll be the first time he’s touched the sides for years and he’s very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Carol. "And the third?"
"That’s from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse.
"He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But A Pencil Must Be Lead!Comment
-
Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos).
As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.
Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.
Then ... all the other bells started to ring!You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But A Pencil Must Be Lead!Comment
-
[ATTACH]1060[/ATTACH]You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But A Pencil Must Be Lead!Comment
Comment