Crap Jokes

[truefan999]

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.

... Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?, asks the attendant.

"They're called tees" replies Tiger.

"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

[Stanbull]

Natasha Giggs is on Big Brother, Not the first time is it!!!

[Tee]

[Exiled_red]

Natasha Giggs is on Big Brother, Not the first time is it!!!

[Fivex]

Natasha Giggs is on Big Brother, Not the first time is it!!!

Stealing

[RedAndWhite]

Stealing

Same.

[pondus]

Natasha Giggs is on Big Brother, Not the first time is it!!!

[Subby]

According to Stephen Hawking 'women are a mystery'.

Not really Stephen, they're just not generally attracted to 70 year old, dribbling spastics, who talk like a dalek.

[jono]

According to Stephen Hawking 'women are a mystery'.

Not really Stephen, they're just not generally attracted to 70 year old, dribbling spastics, who talk like a dalek.

I'm gonna burn in hell for laughing at that one.

[RoadEnd]

Welcome to Celebrity Ready Steady Cook. So Anthony, you had £5 to spend...what's in your bag?"

'Organic chicken, langoustines, rice, stock, wine, scallops, onions, garlic,.............

[GTi]

sickipediabot
Not seen Scousers get this excited over one leg since Paul McCartney met Heather Mills

[Stanbull]

Just got back from holiday in Thailand and I came so close to shagging a lady boy.

Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady!

It was when she drove me to her place and reversed her car into a space first time I thought "Hang on a ****in minute?....."

[Assassin]

[Subby]

I was text cheating on my wife and I accidently sent one of the messages to her.

Took me some explaining on how I couldn't wait to suck her cock.

[kingfunk]

Haha!