Crap Jokes

[Norbs]

Not having that

[Darkon]

you are not having the peanut or?

[Subby]

My wife says she never sees me any more, coz of COD4.

Well maybe if she pulled her finger out of her ass and levelled up to a Major, we might be ranked in the same matches.

[Subby]

What do you get if you cross Dappy from N-Dubz and a complete and utter chav arsehole?

Dappy from N-Dubz.

[Stanbull]

I was in Curry's earlier today and I asked my wife "What's your favourite Tele Tubby?"

She said "Tnky Winky"

I rolled my eyes and replied "No you fat cunt, which TV do you want"

[pondus]

I was in Curry's earlier today and I asked my wife "What's your favourite Tele Tubby?"

She said "Tnky Winky"

I rolled my eyes and replied "No you fat cunt, which TV do you want"

[Liverpel]

I was in Curry's earlier today and I asked my wife "What's your favourite Tele Tubby?"

She said "Tnky Winky"

I rolled my eyes and replied "No you fat cunt, which TV do you want"

[Subby]

As I blew my daughter a kiss at the school gates, one of the other fathers looked at me in disgust. "Are you ****ing your own daughter?" he asked.

"Erm... No..." I said, looking very sheepish. "Is it wrong for a father to blow a kiss to his daughter?"

"No," he replied. "But it's wrong for her to catch that kiss and then rub it on her *****."

[Subby]

Grow your own vegetables.

Drink heavily whilst pregnant.

[Subby]

My new girlfriend is epileptic.

I keep a strobe light handy, for whenever I want a really vigorous handjob.

[Fivex]

[red evil kenevil]

* **

A rather loud bloke was overheard at the bar telling this joke

"What do you do when your washing machine breaks down?"

"Chuck your washing in a bath with an epileptic!"

A particularly large guy overhears this and leans over to the joke-teller and says;

"My brother was epileptic and he died in the bath a year ago."

Panicking now the first fella says "Oh ****, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any offence, I, er, did your brother drown?"

"No, he choked on a sock."
*

[Fivex]

[Stanbull]

I saw this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be as much comfort to you as it was to me. Enjoy

"Winter" by Lily Jones Age 6, Norris Green



**** me.
It's cold!

[Stanbull]

I got the sack from my job as a bingo caller the other day

Apparantly "A meal for two with a terrible view" isn't the best way to announce number 69