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    A fella goes for a job in the Quality Assurance department at Durex.
    The foreman takes him 'round the plant and shows him all the machiners
    and offers him the job.

    "What will the role entail exactly?" asks the interviewee.

    "Well", says the foreman, "you have to check 1 in a hundred", and proceeds to
    remove one of the rubbers from the production line, stretches it, holds
    it up to the lights, then places it over his penis and calls the secretary over.
    She proceeds to hitch her skirt up, pull her knickers down and bends over.

    The foreman gives her a good rogering, after he's finished he removes the prophylactic,
    stretches it, holds it up to the light again to confirm no holes.

    "Easy as that", he says.

    "When do I start?" Asks the fella, unable to believe his luck.

    "Monday, 8:00 sharp!"

    Naturally, our hero hardly sleeps a wink all Sunday night,
    and is outside the Durex factory waiting to get in at 6:30.
    Anyway, the production line starts up and the fella faithfully
    counts as 100 ribbed black mambo's, (lubricated with sensodol for extra comfort).

    He picks up the 101st, stretches it, holds it up to the light to check for holes then
    pulls it over his old man and calls the secretary over.

    Over she comes, grabs hold of his manhood, and proceeds to rigorously masturbate him.

    Rather startled and confused, the fella just looks at the secretary who says...

    "Sorry, company policy. You've got to work a week in hand"
    Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
    Those that killed her, were following the law.

    Comment


      My Grandad just said to me "Liverpool are ****e this year lad." I said "tell me something I don't know grandad.
      He replied "your Nana's arse can take my whole fist!"
      Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
      Those that killed her, were following the law.

      Comment


        Cheers

        Subby

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        Comment


          I bought a cucumber from Tesco's, turns out it is a horses cock

          Comment


            The last few on here.....
            "Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob Paisley

            Comment


              I used to be a necrophiliac until some rotten cunt split on me.

              Comment


                Originally posted by kev776 View Post
                My Grandad just said to me "Liverpool are ****e this year lad." I said "tell me something I don't know grandad.
                He replied "your Nana's arse can take my whole fist!"
                **** me Im in creases
                Football without Origi is nothing

                Comment


                  Roses are red
                  Violets are glorious
                  dont try and suprise
                  Oscar pistorius

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by DaveMc68 View Post
                    Roses are red
                    Violets are glorious
                    dont try and suprise
                    Oscar pistorius
                    Jürgen Klopp

                    Comment


                      I saw Oscar Pistorious was in a bit of trouble. I am not sure what his defence is going to be, but from what I see, he doesnt have a leg to stand on...
                      Lurker Extraordinaire

                      Comment


                        A man went to the doctors complaining of a being hard of hearing...

                        The doctor asked. Can you describe the symptoms....

                        The man said "homers a fat ******* and marge has blue hair"
                        Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
                        Those that killed her, were following the law.

                        Comment


                          removing all the weak links makes us stronger

                          too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.

                          Comment


                            Originally posted by kev776 View Post
                            My Grandad just said to me "Liverpool are ****e this year lad." I said "tell me something I don't know grandad.
                            He replied "your Nana's arse can take my whole fist!"
                            this is ****ing brill
                            People who think there's no good way to die have obviously never heard the phrase 'Drug-fuelled-sex-heart-attack'.

                            Comment


                              Originally posted by kev776 View Post
                              A man went to the doctors complaining of a being hard of hearing...

                              The doctor asked. Can you describe the symptoms....

                              The man said "homers a fat ******* and marge has blue hair"
                              That rug really tied the room together.

                              Comment


                                • What's blue & full of Haribos? Kevin Webster's overalls.
                                • Never get your tyres replaced at Kevin Webster's garage- they'll be completely bald & illegal.
                                • Chesney takes his van into Kevin's garage & says "can you fix it?" Kevin says, no that's the other paedo.
                                3rd place. Worst champions ever.

                                Comment

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