My wife said she was leaving me because I exaggerate too much.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock!
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock!
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All you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be -
As we don't have a good jokes thread I'll have to put this shamelessly stolen off Twitter joke here
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Steve Brookstein
Steve Brookstein who?
Thay's showbusinessFootball without Origi is nothingComment
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Just heard the kids from alder hey hospital will be visiting the Liverpool players to cheer them up this year.Comment
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very good
Hello mert.Comment
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Apparently, The whole of Cornwall has been placed into tier 4 lockdown after hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrrr rate has increased dramatically.Comment
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Why did Adele cross the road? To say’ Hello from the other side.Comment
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Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards out of a boat?
Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat.Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."
Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.Comment
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Hello mert.Comment
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A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walked in to blood donation clinic. The nursed asked the rabbit: "What is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O" said the rabbit.Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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Hello mert.Comment
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Ah ****, just logged on to post that
3rd place. Worst champions ever.
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Excellent, and I've nicked it
I don't need a lift, I need ammunitionComment
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Two Americans flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose. They managed to bag 6.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the little plane couldn't possibly handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the 2 American hunters survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Hank asked Chuck, "Any idea where we are?"
Chuck replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year!"Last edited by kev776; 23-03-21, 01:04 PM.Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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