Originally posted by baitman
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If we are all only happy when we are really winning in the end, when your race finishes, what life would that be? -
All you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever beComment
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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'removing all the weak links makes us stronger
too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.Comment
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The Pope is handing out miracles to little kids in Salford. Young Wayne, 7, walks on the stage and asks the Pope "can you help me with my hearing?"
The Pope says "Yes certainly", and puts his hands on Wayne's ears and prays. He removes his hands and says "How is your hearing now?" and little Wayne from Salford says "I don't ****ing know, it's not until next Wednesday"Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’Comment
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Was muß, das muß.Comment
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Saw Jack Whitehall yesterday, fair play, was expectig a car crash, he was pretty fuking funnyI make no apologies, this is meComment
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Sent from my iPad using TapatalkMe, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.Comment
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Just having a discussion with a vegan.
I asked if they knew the difference between a lentil and a chickpea
They waffled on for a bit before I stopped them.
No, the difference is, I've never had a lentil on my face.removing all the weak links makes us stronger
too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.Comment
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Hello mert.Comment
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removing all the weak links makes us stronger
too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.Comment
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Definition of a reverse exorcism.
When the demon tells the priest to get out of the kid.Glass Half Full
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Sent from my iPad using TapatalkMe, I’m either planning a holiday or I’m on one.Comment
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