1) Arsenal's youth team will beat a couple of lower division sides in the Carling Cup and be proclaimed 'amazing', before drawing a top 8 PL side and being outclassed. Arsene Wenger will plead for 'patience'.
2) Aston Villa will continue to persue Champions League football with an emphatically small squad and Martin O'Neil will describe their achievements as fantastic, when they miss out.
3) Birmingham City will charge around £30 per ticket for visiting fans of all clubs, except for Manchester United, Liverpool and Aston Villa supporters, who will be asked to pay £42.
4) Sam Allardyce will somehow mention his failure to get the England job in a post match interview after Blackburn Rovers have draw 1-1.
5) Bolton Wanderers fans will abuse Gary Megson, despite not actually knowing why they're doing it.
6) Burnley fans will be heralded as one of the most passionate set of fans in the country after a couple of live games at Turf Moor.
7) Chelsea will advertise for fans on the radio.
8) Everton manager David Moyes will stand on the touchline looking stern and bullish.
9) Fulham boss Roy Hodgson will fail to pronounce his 'r's correctly.
10) Hull City's Phil Brown will use a head-set.
11) Rafael Benitez will play a player out of position and talk about 'options'.
12) Manchester City will make more big money signings in January and the players concerned will insist that the move is 'not about money' and describe their happiness at joining such a 'exciting project'.
13) Manchester United's title bid will be aided by ridiculous refereeing decisions, amid their manager's claims that the footballing authorities are 'anti Manchester United'.
14) Portsmouth home matches will be beseiged by bell-ringing, drum-beating fans, regardless of the scoreline and everybody barring Portsmouth fans will realise how irritating it sounds.
15) Stoke City will play a ludicrously violent brand of football, which pundits will praise and describe as 'passionate'.
16) Sunderland fans will laud over the fact that they are the only north-east club in the Premier League, despite nobody else really caring. Steve Bruce's head will remain big.
17) Tottenham will finally win a league game with Gareth Bale involved.
18) Gianfranco Zola will never, under any circumstances, say a bad word against anyone.
19) Roberto Martinez will be hailed as a genius if Wigan have a good start, or dismissed as clueless if they have a poor one.
20) Wolves will have a few good home results early on and occupy a top six place, prompting suggestions of a comfortable midtable finish, before falling away dreadfully and embarking on an eight-month long relegation battle.
21) Jamie Redknapp will wear painfully tight trousers.
22) Andy Gray will say 'Take a bow son, take a bow'.
23) Sky Sports presenters will express their excitement at the 'most exciting season yet'.
24) Fans of all four English Champions League qualifiers will claim the draw is a 'fix'.
25) Gary Lineker will present Match of the Day with a witless smug grin.
26) Adrian Chiles will present Match of the Day 2 with wit.
27) Fredo will talk nonsense.
2) Aston Villa will continue to persue Champions League football with an emphatically small squad and Martin O'Neil will describe their achievements as fantastic, when they miss out.
3) Birmingham City will charge around £30 per ticket for visiting fans of all clubs, except for Manchester United, Liverpool and Aston Villa supporters, who will be asked to pay £42.
4) Sam Allardyce will somehow mention his failure to get the England job in a post match interview after Blackburn Rovers have draw 1-1.
5) Bolton Wanderers fans will abuse Gary Megson, despite not actually knowing why they're doing it.
6) Burnley fans will be heralded as one of the most passionate set of fans in the country after a couple of live games at Turf Moor.
7) Chelsea will advertise for fans on the radio.
8) Everton manager David Moyes will stand on the touchline looking stern and bullish.
9) Fulham boss Roy Hodgson will fail to pronounce his 'r's correctly.
10) Hull City's Phil Brown will use a head-set.
11) Rafael Benitez will play a player out of position and talk about 'options'.
12) Manchester City will make more big money signings in January and the players concerned will insist that the move is 'not about money' and describe their happiness at joining such a 'exciting project'.
13) Manchester United's title bid will be aided by ridiculous refereeing decisions, amid their manager's claims that the footballing authorities are 'anti Manchester United'.
14) Portsmouth home matches will be beseiged by bell-ringing, drum-beating fans, regardless of the scoreline and everybody barring Portsmouth fans will realise how irritating it sounds.
15) Stoke City will play a ludicrously violent brand of football, which pundits will praise and describe as 'passionate'.
16) Sunderland fans will laud over the fact that they are the only north-east club in the Premier League, despite nobody else really caring. Steve Bruce's head will remain big.
17) Tottenham will finally win a league game with Gareth Bale involved.
18) Gianfranco Zola will never, under any circumstances, say a bad word against anyone.
19) Roberto Martinez will be hailed as a genius if Wigan have a good start, or dismissed as clueless if they have a poor one.
20) Wolves will have a few good home results early on and occupy a top six place, prompting suggestions of a comfortable midtable finish, before falling away dreadfully and embarking on an eight-month long relegation battle.
21) Jamie Redknapp will wear painfully tight trousers.
22) Andy Gray will say 'Take a bow son, take a bow'.
23) Sky Sports presenters will express their excitement at the 'most exciting season yet'.
24) Fans of all four English Champions League qualifiers will claim the draw is a 'fix'.
25) Gary Lineker will present Match of the Day with a witless smug grin.
26) Adrian Chiles will present Match of the Day 2 with wit.
27) Fredo will talk nonsense.
Comment