Manchester United

[Shaggy]

Stock exchange opens in 6 minutes - it'll coincide with that.

[Chazza]

FIFA? Really?

RT @FIFAcom: David Moyes has been announced as the new manager of Manchester United, replacing Sir Alex Ferguson. More to follow #MUFC #SAF

[Pedenj]

Stock exchange opens in 6 minutes - it'll coincide with that.

The fact this sentence is being used in regards of a footballing decision says it all about the way the game is run nowadays.

[red g]

This will not be a disaster, Moyes keeps telling himself



NEW Manchester United manager David Moyes has spent the last 24 hours reassuring himself that this is not going to be an unmitigated catastrophe.

Following the official announcement of Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement Moyes told friends that he felt like Roy Scheider in Jaws when the camera zooms in on him in that really weird way.

According to his friends, Moyes spent 14 hours in his toilet yesterday staring at himself in the mirror, practicing how to look as if he knows what he is doing.

One source said: “He keeps telling himself that Manchester United is the world’s biggest club run by clever people who make really important decisions every day.

“Which means they must have a very good reason for choosing someone who has never won anything. And so there’s nothing to worry about.

“And then he goes back into the toilet.”

Another friend said: “He’s had the words ‘it’ll be fine’ tattooed on to his left palm.

“Yesterday I had to tell him to stop staring at it or we were going to crash.”

The friend added: “He’s also written a poem for Robin van Persie. I told him he didn’t have to do that and then he started to cry.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/this-will-not-be-a-disaster-moyes-keeps-telling-himself-2013050968042

[Shaggy]

Official Everton @Everton
OFFICIAL: Everton can confirm that David Moyes will leave the Club at the end of the season. More on http://evertonfc.com . #EFC

[Norbs]

He's utterly bricking it

[Sarb]

I can't believe it. They've actually done it

[Pablo]

Adam Parsons @AdamParsons1 9m
This Facebook mistake would never have happened under Fergie. Moyes must go.

Moyes out.

[Joey Jones]

Ferguson will be holding his hand for a few years I think. If he lasts that long.

[ChesterDave]

I can't believe it. They've actually done it

I'm in shock. I'm convinced I've created the last few days in a crazy elaborate dream

[Chazza]

United Press Office - Hello David

Moyes - Hi, I've just jacked it at Everton so all good to go!!!

United - Ah.....yeah about that well SAF has changed his mind and is staying on so no hard feelings and all that

[dom9]

The beeb:

Talks are still ongoing between Man Utd and Everton over release of David Moyes; Possible announcement may slip to Friday

On the ball as ever.

[Tee]

Hahahahaaaaa, Gollum is the Scum Manager.

[Gibbo]

Today has been a bonus to a good week to be a Liverpool fan.

[ChesterDave]

Ferguson will be holding his hand for a few years I think. If he lasts that long.

Will it take Fergie that long to walk properly after his hip op