Crap Jokes

[Liverpel]

[Glenn Hysen]

I've reached that stage in my relationship where "give it to me" no longer refers to my penis but to my credit card.

[Tee]

A bloke brings his best mate home after work to meet his wife.

She screams at him " You ****in dickhead,my hair and make up are a mess, the house is a right ****in tip, the dishes aren't done, i'am still in my pajamas.

I can't be bothered to cook now and It's my time of the month, why the **** did you bring him home?"

He replied "He's thinking of getting married!!!!'

[Stanbull]

Looks like Kevin Webster has come out of this smelling of Rosie!!

[G]

Looks like Kevin Webster has come out of this smelling of Rosie!!

[The_weatherman]

No, I´m not joking ......

Iceland is second in group E

[kev776]

My wife suggested we spice up our marriage with 'doctors and nurses' role play.
So I put her on a trolley and ignored her for two days.

[Subby]

brilliant...having that one

[Alex]

Right, this may not be a popular post.....

Mods tend to pretty much ignore this thread (because it's ****), but have recently been alerted to some "jokes" in here which aside from being completely unfunny and devoid of wit, are more importantly just plain racist.

Now just because this thread is titled as it is, does NOT mean that the forum rules do not apply. It's irrelevant whether people don't have to open the thread if they don't want to, as they can see it in Real Time regardless, so please don't respond with that as an argument.

With that in mind, we'll be keeping a closer eye on it in future.

If you absolutely have to get a racist joke off your chest, then ring a mate up and tell them it or something, but please leave them off here.

N.B. I'm using racist jokes as an example - the same applies for homophobic jokes etc.

[Tee]

Right, this may not be a popular post.....

Mods tend to pretty much ignore this thread (because it's ****), but have recently been alerted to some "jokes" in here which aside from being completely unfunny and devoid of wit, are more importantly just plain racist.

Now just because this thread is titled as it is, does NOT mean that the forum rules do not apply. It's irrelevant whether people don't have to open the thread if they don't want to, as they can see it in Real Time regardless, so please don't respond with that as an argument.

With that in mind, we'll be keeping a closer eye on it in future.

If you absolutely have to get a racist joke off your chest, then ring a mate up and tell them it or something, but please leave them off here.

N.B. I'm using racist jokes as an example - the same applies for homophobic jokes etc.

+ 1 Like.

[Eric Swindler]

My wife suggested we spice up our marriage with 'doctors and nurses' role play.
So I put her on a trolley and ignored her for two days.

wouldn't that be doctors and patients....

[kev776]

wouldn't that be doctors and patients....

If I did it like that, the joke would be even ****tier than it was already.

[Eric Swindler]

If I did it like that, the joke would be even ****tier than it was already.

Debatable

[Subby]

After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for company, Bob and Geoff are getting horny.
"Look," says Bob, "Neither of us are gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me, when I'm done, I'll pretend to be a woman for you."
Geoff reluctantly agrees and suffers 10 minutes of painful humiliation as Bob ****s him up the arse. When it's over, Geoff asks Bob for his go.
"**** off," Bob replies, "I've got a headache."

[tufty]

guessed where this was going


but


moral of the story, always be the 'giver' first