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    Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle.
    He doesn't have much luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
    The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old.
    It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.
    He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
    'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike
    is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
    It protects it from the rain.' (true)
    And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
    That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
    parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
    But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'
    'When we eat dinner, we don't talk.
    In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
    'No problem,' he says.. And in they go.
    Joe is shocked.
    Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
    In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes.
    Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks.
    Dirty dishes.
    They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a word.
    As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
    So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
    No one says a word.
    So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
    Still, nobody says a word.
    So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the
    table and screws her, right there in front of her parents.
    His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid and
    her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
    He looks at her mom.
    'She's got a great body,' he thinks.
    So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way but loose right there on the dinner table.
    After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.
    Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is
    pleasantly beaming.
    But still.... Total silence.
    All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
    Suddenly the father shouted.
    I'll do the ****in dishes..!!
    Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
    Those that killed her, were following the law.

    Comment


      Originally posted by frank the tank View Post
      Slinky.....your jokes are the same as your wanks......dont last very long and you're the only one that enjoys them...


      Originally posted by kev776 View Post
      Suddenly the father shouted.
      I'll do the ****in dishes..!!
      a classic
      removing all the weak links makes us stronger

      too many gutless players, no beef or desire. pussies everywhere... sack them all.

      Comment


        Oscar Pistorius cleared of 1st and 2nd degree murder, f**k me I'm stumped!
        'and boy could he play!.

        Comment


          The man who invented the anagram has died, may he "erect a penis"

          Comment


            What did one tampon say to the other tampon?

            Comment


              A man runs over a woman.....who's fault is it?

              The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

              Comment


                deleted - wrong thread
                Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’

                Comment


                  Originally posted by Bender View Post
                  A man runs over a woman.....who's fault is it?

                  The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
                  hahaha having that
                  Cheers

                  Subby

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                  Comment


                    I guarantee you somewhere right now there's a pregnant Chav teenager that thinks Ebola would be a lovely name for their baby
                    'and boy could he play!.

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by kopster View Post
                      I guarantee you somewhere right now there's a pregnant Chav teenager that thinks Ebola would be a lovely name for their baby

                      Guaranteed. The old dear is a midwife and in the last few years has had to explain why Chlamydia and Chevron aren't the best names for a little'un.
                      Hello mert.

                      Comment


                        @troubledmozza: Girlfriend with Ebola
                        I know, I know it's serious.
                        Go **** yourself

                        Comment


                          Last night there was an insect flying around the room, eventually after a few minutes it started flying straight towards my face suddenly it exploded right in front of me.

                          It was a Jihadi long legs.
                          Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


                          Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

                          Comment


                            Poor / bad taste joke.

                            Comment


                              A guy and his Thai bride were sat together eating some sweets out of a bag.

                              She picked one out, put in her mouth and said "These sweets are Haribo."

                              The guy said "Well don't eat them then."
                              Klopp on LFC vs MUFC (March 9th 2016) - "This is why I love football. This is why we watched it when we were young. I can still not have enough of it."


                              Always, keep your face to the sun, and shadows will fall behind you.

                              Comment


                                Met a beautiful girl at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new taser!

                                Comment

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