Crap Jokes

[baitman]

At school my favourite lesson was PE. I had the biggest cock. I used to stroll around the changing room naked , flicking the weaker kids with my towel whilst pointing and laughing at their little knobs.... Looking back I think that was probably why I was sacked....

[Subby]

I always use the disabled toilets at work. There's loads more room to do your business in and they even have their own sink!

Coming out today, a guy in a wheelchair was waiting to go in.

"Oi!" he said, "you're not disabled!"

"I'm mentally disabled," I replied, rubbing **** on his face.

[Subby]

Twenty two identical sealed boxes and only one question......

What happened to the coach driver?

[kev776]

Muamba woke up yesterday to find out Torres had scored twice. He said, how "long was I out for"?

[Norbs]

[Stanbull]

Two guys wearing Man Utd tops smashed the windscreen on my bus this morning.

I could have swerved but I thought ... **** em!

[Stanbull]

Listen you won't be hearing from me for a while. The police are investigating me for stealing swimming pool inflatables. Gotta lilo.

[Stanbull]

Got one of those Anti -Bullying wristbands yesterday. Got if off a little fat ginger cunt with glasses

[Subby]

Got one of those Anti -Bullying wristbands yesterday. Got if off a little fat ginger cunt with glasses

class

[Leyton388]

2 manc's opening a shop in Liverpool they're sitting in the empty shop waiting on stock 2 be delivered, first one says to his mate 'bet u we have some nosey scoucer asking what we are selling' sure enough within five minutes door opens and a small scouser says 'What you selling in here mate?' manc says 'we're selling arseholes'. Without missing a beat the scouser replies 'you must be doin well, only 2 left'.

[kev776]

At a Moss Side Church the Preacher announced "All those with special needs and would like a prayer said for them, please step forward"

Leroy steps forward and asks for a prayer for his hearing.

The Preacher puts a finger in Leroy's ear and the other hand on his head and prays hard to God Almighty.

After 10 minutes of hard prayer the preacher asks Leroy in a loud clear voice "How is your hearing now my son? "

Leroy replied quietly "I don't know boss, it aint till thursday"

[Liverpel]

At a Moss Side Church the Preacher announced "All those with special needs and would like a prayer said for them, please step forward"

Leroy steps forward and asks for a prayer for his hearing.

The Preacher puts a finger in Leroy's ear and the other hand on his head and prays hard to God Almighty.

After 10 minutes of hard prayer the preacher asks Leroy in a loud clear voice "How is your hearing now my son? "

Leroy replied quietly "I don't know boss, it aint till thursday"

[Boogs]

Being a Liverpool fan is like being in Joseph Fritzl's basement. Everytime you see a glimmer of light, you end up getting ****ed.

[Angryred]

Being a Liverpool fan is like being in Joseph Fritzl's basement. Everytime you see a glimmer of light, you end up getting ****ed.

Bad as this may be, but ya gotta laugh!

[kev776]

Renault & Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the 'Clio' & the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink & the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on,
even if someone tells him where it is & how to do it