i shall put a warning on the thread - but guarenteed that will only attract people to come in and critisice and have a go etc - we would be better off giving it a random 'code' name like "Peter Kay Jokes" then noone would ever check 
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i own everton fans on the internet....that's what i do -
Hahaha....
I await the PC brigade.
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Two gay blokes are at home naked and one says to the other, "Don't start until I get back from the toilet". He goes to the toilet, comes back and there is semen on the floor. He yells, "Oh my god, you already started" to which his boyfriend replies, "No I didn't, I just farted"Comment
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I keep having my profile on that dating website 'Match.com' rejected.
One of the questions is, 'What do you want in a woman?'.
Apparently 'my dick' is not an acceptable answer.
Two men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' replied the other guy. 'My wifes epileptic'Comment
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Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?
A: Santa Claus goes down the chimney.Comment
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maura hindley is walking across the moores on a dark misty night with a wee girl holding her hand.....
the girl looks up into mauras face - "im scared" she says.....
"your scared, i have to walk back on my own""Sky and Setanta have the right to choose their games and it will be the same for everyone. So Mr Ferguson will not be complaining about fixtures and a campaign against United.
"Or there is another option. That Mr Ferguson organises the fixtures in his office and sends it to us and everyone will know and cannot complain. That is simple."
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whats better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics?
Not being handicapped.Comment
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Winston is a five year old Nigerian boy
Despite having only one leg, he has to pedal his bike 15 miles every day to get to school
His bike doesn't have tyres and the one working pedal is on the wrong side for him
Please send just £2.50 so you can receive the video, its funny as ****
Keep this quiet
if you carefully grind off the edges of a 50p coin you can use it as a 10p
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Apparently dog**** can make children blind.
Surely poking your fingers in their eyes would be a better option."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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I got a sweater for my birthday
Pissed me off no end.. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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What's the quietest album in the world?
Stephen Hawking unplugged."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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What's black and blue and smells of spunk?
A rape victim."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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What do you call a buck toothed anorexic?
A Crowbar"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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There's something strange about this olympics...
It said in the paper that Michael Phelps had won the most gold medals anyone had ever won, with 8 gold medals.
Surely the guy who won all China's medals has won more?"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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Bought my new girlfriend a new mobile today coz she has been whinging at me
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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