Michael Jackson has canceled his UK tour after he discovered the £2000 for a ten year old actually refers to the car scrappage scheme.
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That rug really tied the room together.Comment
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A man goes to his physician to pick up his sick wife's results. The nurse on reception asks him the family name to which he replies 'Smith'.
'Mr Smith, we have so many of them that we can't find them. We've narrowed them down to two. Either she came in for an AIDS test or an ALZHEIMERS' test.'
'What shall I do?' exclaimed the concerned husband.
'Well I suggest you take your wife into town and leave her there. If she finds her own way home DON'T **** her.'Really?Comment
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David Carradine - Well hung.Comment
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PUBLIC TOILET users. When you realise the person in the next cubicle is holding fire until you leave, simply open and close the toilet door without leaving.
Their first plop can then be greeted with a huge ****ing cheer."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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In South Los Angeles, a 4 plex block of flats was destroyed by a fire.
A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.
An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats, all illegally in the country from Kenya, lived on the second floor, and they, too, all perished in the fire.
Six LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons, lived on the 3rd floor and they too, died.
A lone, white couple lived on the top floor. The couple survived the fire,
Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were furious. They flew into LA, met with the fire chief, on camera. They loudly demanded to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and Hispanics all died in the fire and only the white couple lived..?
The fire chief said, "They were at work."Cheers
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MetalliGear Neo Qube : Ryzen 7950x : x870 Tomahawk : 32GIG DDR5 6000Mhz : Sapphire 7900 : 850w G2 : CableMod custom cables : Win 11 : Subbytech.comComment
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That rug really tied the room together.Comment
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That rug really tied the room together.Comment
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I just got my tickets for the Jackson 4!That rug really tied the room together.Comment
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New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15
Tub of Vaseline: £3
XL Box of Tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless"These stories have as much relation to the truth as an egg to a chestnut." - Racing Santander President Francisco PerniaComment
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This is in very poor taste but I'm afraid it made me laugh...
Peter André goes for a job in a coal mine. When asked if he has any experience he replied: "I've humped some slag for four years and I'm used to carrying a heavy spade."
Thanks very much for being ‘This Mornings’ Farmer’Comment
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What do Michael Jackson and Air France Flight 477 have in Common?
NeverLand"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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I saw a prison van around town and on the back, rubbed into the dirt it said "Glitter On Tour".
It's not a joke but it was funny."Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
And like that… he's goneComment
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