Crap Jokes

[Reaper]

David Guest (not cashing in at all, you understand) says that his friend, the Michael Jackson that the public never got to see, was really sophisticated and very fond of Dickens.

Or, as Michael's young companions called them; sleepovers.

[The Glove]

New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15

Tub of Vaseline: £3

XL Box of Tissues: £2

The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless

I saw a prison van around town and on the back, rubbed into the dirt it said "Glitter On Tour".

It's not a joke but it was funny.

I once saw one that said NUFC Team bus.

[badpiggy]

This is in very poor taste but I'm afraid it made me laugh...

Peter André goes for a job in a coal mine. When asked if he has any experience he replied: "I've humped some slag for four years and I'm used to carrying a heavy spade."

it's not often i send on jokes in emails but thats ****in class

[Subby]

what's the difference between Buzz Aldrin and Michael Jackson?









Buzz walked on the moon and Michael Jackson raped young children

[Subby]

What's Jade goody, Farah Facett and Michael Jackson expecting for Christmas?




















Patrick Swayze

[lfcchris]

I got upset the other day when i turned on the tv and saw the jacksons with jackos coffin............................................ ..........................................
.................................................. .......................................
..............I thought it was Cool Runnings and I love that film!!!!!!!

[RoadEnd]

London police are in trouble again, they have shot a bus load of thalidomide muslims who were suspected of bringing small arms into the country.

[Shaggy]

Okay...this, I'm afraid to say, is a bit racist.......but it's funny on two innocent levels


Michael Jackson is wandering around heaven when he bumps into Elvis.

"Aren't you the man who married my daughter?", asked Presley.

"Yep", said Jackson, "I am indeed sir."

"Thank **** for that, I heard she'd married a n*****"

[Shaggy]

*ashamed*

[Reaper]

I went dogging the the first time last weekend.


The kids on the dodgems looked surprised.

[Reaper]

A Scouse marries a young Manc bird and is about to consummate the marriage, when she turns to him and says, 'Can you please be gentle? I’m still a virgin.'
The man quickly gets up to call his father. 'Dad, she’s a virgin. I don’t know what to do,' he says.
Angered by this, his dad replies, 'If she’s not good enough for her family, then she ain’t good enough for ours

[Reaper]

Two Irishmen leave a bar...

[lfcchris]

All these people saying "ok. Jacko slept with small kids but he was a great singer" It makes me sick. No one ever mentioned how good a caretaker Ian Huntley was!!!

[Assassin]

A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted ' He's behind you !'

[Reaper]

A charity pantomime in aid of Paranoid Schizophrenics and Homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when somebody shouted ' He's behind you !'

Now that Sir.. Is bloody good