Crap Jokes

[Tatterdemalion]

Problem with sick jokes is that some people think that sick is more important than funny,

[rudedog]

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to piss." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I piss like a race horse, and at eight I **** like a bullock." So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

[Carras_Shin_Pads]

women always say they like the strong silent type, surely that's a Rapist...

Brilliant

[kingfunk]

NEWS: energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.

[Reaper]

and that is tasteless HOW?

[kingfunk]

and that is tasteless HOW?

Its just "Poor" The name of the thread is: Poor/Bad Taste Jokes. Thats HOW.

[Reaper]

[lfc]

It was my wife's birthday yesterday, she told me to give her something she would never forget.




It appears 'Dry Anal' isn't a real present.

[lfc]

A Moslem man dies and arrives in Heaven. He is very excited as, all
his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks
'No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up'
And he points him to a ladder that rises into the clouds


Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbed the
ladder in great strides.
He meets another bearded man.
Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Jesus. Mohammed is higher up still' Mohammed higher than
Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and
climbs, ever higher.

Once again, he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:
'Are you Mohammed?'
'No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still' Exhausted but with heart
full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he meets
a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he gasps, as he is by now totally out of breath
from all his climbing.
'No, my son. I am God.. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?'
'Yes please, my Lord'
God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out:
'Mohammed, two coffees please.'

[lfc]

Which celebrity raped Jordan??? Judging by the looks of Harvey it must of been Clyde from the "Every which way but loose" films!!!

fukin class

[lfc]

Another one to be found on Sicki just for Bob



Bloke is sat at home watching TV, when his 9 year daughter comes home from school. He looks up and she is in tears. Her school blouse is ripped open and her skirt is hitched up and dishevelled.

"What the **** happened?" He demands

"Well" she replied in tearful sobs and almost hysterical, "I was walking home from school and I took the shortcut through the back lanes"

"AND? AND?" screams Dad trying to get more info

Sob Sob said the little girl "Some man dragged me into the bushes and tore at my blouse"

"OMG, What happened?" asks dad

sob sob cried the poor little girl "He then put his hand up my skirt"

"NO!" shouts Dad "Then?"

Crying through heavy sobs she replies "I cant remember, I blacked out"

"WELL MAKE IT UP, MAKE IT UP!!!" shouts dad as he starts wanking.

[Boogs]

I watched intently as the "other" woman delicately inserted her fingers into my girlfreinds pussy. Understandably, I decided to have a wank....
Midwives eh! No sense of humour at all

[Kinell]

British police say suicide bombings are down this year thanks mainly to singer Susan Boyle. Now that muslims know what a virgin looks like they aren't that keen to get to paradise.

[bobbyfallon]

Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
His Dad deals coke
And his Mum steals tea
He cried when he missed a penalty.

Chelsea wherever you may be
Don't leave your wife with John Terry
He cannot shoot
And he can't ****ing pass
But he'll take your missus up the arse.

[bobbyfallon]

My girlfriend just asked me: "What's for tea?"
I said: "Come on now, we've been here for nearly three years; in Portuguese, please."