Crap Jokes

[SB]

A policeman in Adelaide Australia pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.

He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".

The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.

On it was written:

"This man suffers from chronic asthma.
Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".

The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"

The man produced another letter.

This one said:

”This man is a hemophiliac.
Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".

So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".

The man produces a third letter from his pocket.

It read:

"This man plays cricket for Australia; please don't take the piss out of him"

BOOM BOOM

[Stanbull]

King Kenny, worst caretaker since Ian Huntly

[Subby]

I'm not sure if they have changed the rules of snooker, but when I turned the Masters final on last night there were two yellows on the table.

[BJC]

Liverpool sign bent. http://bbc.in/fZgi4Z

[Drago]

I'm not sure if they have changed the rules of snooker, but when I turned the Masters final on last night there were two yellows on the table.

[Subby]

apparently the best way to make a cup of tea
is to aggitate the bag....
so every morning i slap the wife and say "2 sugars,
fat arse."

[kev776]

apparently the best way to make a cup of tea
is to aggitate the bag....
so every morning i slap the wife and say "2 sugars,
fat arse."

[Drago]

Apparently Gary Glitter is applying to be the new Aston Villa manager after he heard the strikers were Young, Bent and maybe Keane.

[Bulld0g]

Apparently Gary Glitter is applying to be the new Aston Villa manager after he heard the strikers were Young, Bent and maybe Keane.

[ronanm]

Apparently Gary Glitter is applying to be the new Aston Villa manager after he heard the strikers were Young, Bent and maybe Keane.

[Subby]

class

[Kinell]

I'm not sure if they have changed the rules of snooker, but when I turned the Masters final on last night there were two yellows on the table.

Apparently Gary Glitter is applying to be the new Aston Villa manager after he heard the strikers were Young, Bent and maybe Keane.

Haven't laughed so hard in ages!

[Boogs]

My ****ing neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning, can you believe that 2.30am?





Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums............

[dave edwards]

My ****ing neighbour knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning, can you believe that 2.30am?





Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums............

[Stanbull]

A bloke walks into WH Smith and asks "Do you have that new self help book for men with small cocks?"

Girl at the counter replies "I don't think it's in yet"

"Yeah that's the one"