Crap Jokes

[Norbs]

Q: What does Roy Walker say when he's shagging his sister?

A: "It's good but it's not right"

I got stopped outside Boots at lunchtime. The girl asked me what my favourite grooming products were. I said "Facebook, Haribo and puppies"

[Subby]

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm a schizophrenic
And so am I

[Stanbull]

Those waiters in Tenerife should really brush up on their English

I only said my wife wanted decaffinated

[Blind Melon]

After much speculation that he was going to put out a weakened side against Blackpool, Sir Alex Ferguson tonight submitted the following team sheet: 1. Edwin Van der Sar 3. Patrice Evra6. Wes Brown 12. Chris Smalling 23. Jonny Evans 24. Darren Fletcher 18. Paul Scholes 11. Top Flight Premiership Footballer 8. Anderson 13. Ji Sung Park 9. Dimitar Berbatov

[RedAndWhite]

After much speculation that he was going to put out a weakened side against Blackpool, Sir Alex Ferguson tonight submitted the following team sheet: 1. Edwin Van der Sar 3. Patrice Evra6. Wes Brown 12. Chris Smalling 23. Jonny Evans 24. Darren Fletcher 18. Paul Scholes 11. Top Flight Premiership Footballer 8. Anderson 13. Ji Sung Park 9. Dimitar Berbatov

[Rudo]

Some of these jokes are in such bad taste

[Norbs]

After much speculation that he was going to put out a weakened side against Blackpool, Sir Alex Ferguson tonight submitted the following team sheet: 1. Edwin Van der Sar 3. Patrice Evra6. Wes Brown 12. Chris Smalling 23. Jonny Evans 24. Darren Fletcher 18. Paul Scholes 11. Top Flight Premiership Footballer 8. Anderson 13. Ji Sung Park 9. Dimitar Berbatov

Clever that

[rodo]

daily express headline kate mcann cold and emotionless so just like her daughter then

[Subby]

Rape is such a strong word, i like to call it a struggle cuddle!

[paulg]

I went for a job in a blacksmith's.
Bloke asked if I'd ever shoed a horse. I said "no, but I once told a donkey to **** off".

[kev776]

What have Torres and Imogen got in common? Both were once ****ing good footballers.

[Subby]

What is the most popular form of "Terror-Vision" ?

The japanese version of corrie

[Leyton388]

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid *******s because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

[Subby]

In the news today "Cadbury apologises to Naomi Campbell over 'racist' ad"

Do they mean the one with the gorilla playing the drums?

[Subby]

God made us all different. But when he got to China he thought '**** it. Copy, paste, copy, paste.....'