Crap Jokes

[Subby]

Tributes have been pouring in for boxing hero Joe Frazier.

John Terry said "the black cunt was a legend".

[Subby]

I cheat on my girlfriend all the time, sleep with prostitute after prostitute, try my very best to be racist, rude and aggressive at work and everywhere else I go, and will never turn down the opportunity to take illegal substances. I even slept with my best mate's wife.

And still Capello hasn't called me up for the England squad ...

[ChesterDave]

I was going to tell you all a joke about homosexuals... butt **** it.

[Subby]

66% of Irish People like Jedward....

That's Two Turds.

[Stanbull]

Michael Jackson's doctor has already been invited to join the prison boxing team.

Apparantly he has a ****ing lethal jab

[Leyton388]

What have Freddie Mercury and Colin McRae got in common?

They both died after sitting on a dodgy chopper

[Leyton388]

A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says “what seems to be the problem officer?” the cop looks bluntly at him and says “are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?” the man let out a sigh “thank **** for that i thought i had gone deaf!”

[sniffer]

A Scotsman and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem when the wife suddenly dies. The undertaker said it will cost £5000 to ship her home or £50 to bury her here. The husband said " ship her home " . The undertaker said " but Sir why don't you bury her in the Holy land and save the money " The husband said " listen here pal, a long time ago Jesus was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead........................She's going f*****g home " .

[Subby]

My neighbour threw me out of his fancy dress party for coming in a bunny outfit ...

... which his 10-year-old daughter was wearing at the time.

[Gray]

A policeman has just knocked my door & said "it looks like your wife's been in a car crash".

I said "I know, but she's great with the kids".

[Kenneth]

[MrsB]

Christ on toast!

[Subby]

I don't get it :/

[red evil kenevil]

Abdul the indian wifebeater punches his wife every night at 7:30....on the dot !!

[red evil kenevil]

An Irish bloke takes his mates back to see his new flat, and after a few more beers one of the lads asks him whats the big brass gong hangin g on the wall, Paddy says "It's my speaking clock!" "How does it work?" "I'll show you!" and he hits it full pelt with a claw hammer, And a voice from next door yells"For ****s sake you cunt its twenty to three in the morning!!