Crap Jokes

[Boogs]

My Wife brings me so much joy.....

Sory typo, Wifi

[Liverpel]

Woman walks into her doctors
" Doctor, I've been on the steriods you prescribed for three months now and I think I'm starting to grow a cock !! "
" Anabolic ? " asks the Doctor
She replies " No, just a cock "

[Boogs]

The plane carrying the new French Prime Minister to his first political meeting since taking charge has been hit by lightning.


Even god hates France.

[ChesterDave]

Its jokes that are in poor or bad taste, not jokes that are poor, or in bad taste

[Boogs]

Its jokes that are in poor or bad taste, not jokes that are poor, or in bad taste

One of my ex girlfriends is now a PORNSTAR, she will go ****ing mental when she find's out

[tufty]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend this morning, who called me 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around and how I was doing. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.
'Wow!' I was flabbergasted. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I said, 'I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'. 'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!' She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. "Anyway" she giggled "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to **** off

[tufty]

An elderley couple decide they need to spice up their love life as the wife is no longer being satisfied by her husband

So they employ the services of a handsome young man in the hope of getting things going

He arrives at their home and the wife is delighted with what she sees. Over a glass of wine they talk to him about the problems they are having and wonder what he suggests

He leads the couple to their bedroom, dims the lights, and undresses to reveal a tanned and toned body. He then tells the couple to undress and climb onto the bed

He now tells them to start making love and he will stand over them gently fanning them with a towel to set the scene

After ten minutes of thrusting they're getting nowhere, the wife is just getting bored rather than feeling any passion

So the young lad suggests that he and the husband swap places

The husband agrees and the young lad proceeds to give the wife a tremendous shagging and before long she's enjoying orgasm after orgasm, screaming the house down, then she stops, relaxes and smiles with content

as the young lad gets up to dress the husband taps him on the shoulder
" See son, THATS how you wave a ****in towel "


.

[Maxiedge]

[kev776]

type askew into google, it tips the page slightly.

[Kenneth]

It ****ing does too!

[jono]

type askew into google, it tips the page slightly.

type "do a barrel roll" into google and see what happens.

[tufty]

What do we want
an end to Tourettes
when do we want it
cunt

[tufty]

why do premier footballers encourage their wags to use sunbeds ?

the blacker they are the less chance of John Terry wanting to shag them

[red evil kenevil]

Walked passed the fridge earlier and I thought I heard an onion singing a beegee's song. When I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talkin...... I asked the chive if it wanted to be an onion? It said i'm stayin a chive, stayin a chive , ah ah ah ah stayin a chive.

[Kenneth]

Is that in bad taste?

(Maybe if you don't like onions/chives I suppose)