Crap Jokes

[little dave hedgehog]

young boy's what? i assume you mean his little asshole?

young boy is a silly name for a person.

[Boogs]

young boy's what? i assume you mean his little asshole?

young boy is a silly name for a person.

Even sillier name for a football club

[RedReet]

young boy's what? i assume you mean his little asshole?

young boy is a silly name for a person.

Rodger's knows what he means.

[little dave hedgehog]

[Subby]

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is ****.. The flaps only open from 1-16

[austinot]

A husband frantically calls hotel management from his room."please come fast im havin an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out of the window of your hotel" The manager replied" Sir that's a personal matter" Hubby replies "like **** it is, the window won't open so that's a maintenance matter"

[Fivex]

[jono]

A husband frantically calls hotel management from his room."please come fast im havin an argument with my wife and she says she'll jump out of the window of your hotel" The manager replied" Sir that's a personal matter" Hubby replies "like **** it is, the window won't open so that's a maintenance matter"

[baitman]

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. When she asked if she could have a bath the lady of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to she could use a tin wash tub in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night because my husband goes out to darts," she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.

He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?"

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her night dress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very generously indeed.

The girl finished her bath and went to bed.

Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?"

"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours?"

"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before."

"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't.

[Fivex]

[Subby]

I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.
They said "Will", "you" and "me".
That'll keep her busy whilst I'm ****ing my secretary.

[Norbs]

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. When she asked if she could have a bath the lady of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to she could use a tin wash tub in front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night because my husband goes out to darts," she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.

He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?"

"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her night dress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very generously indeed.

The girl finished her bath and went to bed.

Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?"

"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours?"

"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before."

"I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't.

[red evil kenevil]

Freddie star, Dave-lee-travis, max clifford and stuart hall have joined forces to form a new boy band sponsered by viagra. 'ONE ERECTION' will be releasing 'sweet child of mine' just in time for xmas.
Apparently the single went straight in at 13

[ChesterDave]

Now that the Pope is on Twitter I've heard he is getting a smart phone to post on the go. He was supposedly checking out the iPhone 5 but I doubt he'd ever be tempted by Apple.

[Gibbo]

Everyone says its not Palestine's fault. But we all know it Israeli.