Crap Jokes

[kev776]

A young horse had been molested before it got sent to tesco,police have arrested JIMMY SADDLE

[Subby]

New releases this week at Blockbuster -












.....The staff

[Angryred]

Ouch!.. :-D

[Fan65]

I went to my fridge to check the dates on my Tesco burgers and guess what ?

They're off!!!!

[MrsB]

this is terrifying.

I'll never get this sort of "joke", but ah well, this is the bad taste jokes thread.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture

[kev776]

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me! She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" she giggled .....so I told her to **** off.

[little dave hedgehog]

I'll never get this sort of "joke", but ah well, this is the bad taste jokes thread.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture

[Glenn Hysen]

I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day.We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me! She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute!
"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" she giggled .....so I told her to **** off.

[tufty]

Theres a crane driver job going in Vauxhall, but you've got to be prepared to work on a rota

[tufty]

Horse meat found in Tesco burgers ....

but even worse Camel toe found in Primark leggings

[tufty]

went to Tesco cafe for my lunch and had a burger

the lady asked if I wanted anything on it, so I said £5 each way

[tufty]

Anyone who returns burgers to Tesco will be offered special deals on their new internet mobile service 4GG

[Vermilion]

A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to
walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
alcohol, hereupon he asks the drunk,

'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, Ah am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks
him in the water. He pulls him up
and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk
replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
'Have you found Jesus my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah
havnae found Jesus.'

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
the water again ---

but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found
Jesus?' (Are you ready for this????)


The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher,

















"Are ye sure this is where he fell in"?

[Angryred]

Flmao!!!!! :d:d:d:d:d

[kev776]

An old Italian guy goes into the confessional box ..
"Father, during the War I rescued a beautiful Jewish girl from the Nazis & hid her in my attic. To show her gratitude, she used to shag me every night & give me 2 blow jobs on a Sunday."
"My son," said the Priest, "it was a very difficult time in our lives & you shouldn't feel so guilty."
"I know," said the old guy, "but should I tell her the War is over?"