Crap Jokes

[Tee]

Haha, good ones tufty.

[Aj34]

Lmao

[Ams12]

What did Jay Z call Beyonce before they got married!?



Feyonce!!

[Tee]

What did Jay Z call Beyonce before they got married!?



Feyonce!!

[Ams12]

It's soooo stupid it cracks me up!! Ahahahaaa!!

[tufty]

so obvious, but

[Jaymo]

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

*gagging noise*

[Tee]

FFS.

[kev776]

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman,
"I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks.
"It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.
After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.".
"What?" asks the priest, "what happened?".
"You gave birth to a child!".
"But that's impossible!" says the priest.
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "it's a miracle! Here's your baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says,"Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."

The son says,"What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies,
"I am your mother. The archbishop is your father.".

[baitman]

[baitman]

now that thatcher has gone will she be sitting next to jimmy saville having an argument about who ****ed the most miners

[tufty]

I was about to win the local pub quiz last night but got the last question wrong

apparently, the place were woman have the curliest hair is Fiji




Little lad is standing in the street sobbing his heart out
A man asks him " are you alright son ? "
The boy replies " no, me mammy has just died "
" Thats awful " says the man, " Do you want me to get Father O'Riley for you ?"
" No thanks mister, sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment "



Weather girl said she was expecting eight inches tonight, doubt it, she had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

[Icon]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

[G]

[Subby]

Just got a call from my wife who was running in the Boston Marathon. She said they had a blast and she can't feel her legs.

Glad to hear she's having a good day.