Dont pretend you didnt laugh.
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Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body. -
A man checks into an hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab."
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself 'Erogonique', a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the heck, give her a call.
"Hello," the woman says. Oh, did she sound sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is se*x. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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The Nun and the Hippy
A hippy gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun.
He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"
"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."
She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.
The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippy and says:
"I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!"
"Yeah?", says the hippy.
"Yeah!", say the bus driver. "She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, so all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, and pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God."
The hippy decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.
"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood
low about his face. "Have sex with me."
The nun agrees without question, but begs him to restrict himself to anal sex, as she is desperate not to lose her virginity.
'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her. As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.
"Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippy!"
"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!Those that hid Anne Frank were breaking the law.
Those that killed her, were following the law.Comment
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"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob PaisleyComment
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who's the coolest person in a hospital?
The ultrasound guy.
And if he's not in, the hip replacement girl.Felching ≠ GerbillingComment
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What do you do is you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man.Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body.Comment
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Why have Venetian blinds save the world?
Because without them it would be curtains for us allComment
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What's Thierry Henry's favourite animal?
A cheetahComment
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You get that from the playground young'un?Originally posted by Joe King View Post
"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob PaisleyComment
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It was in break time after I played tic tic and drank some orange squash.Originally posted by Tee View PostYou get that from the playground young'un?Comment
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Take That na laadla.Originally posted by saj View Post"Its not about the long ball or the short ball, its about the right ball." Bob PaisleyComment
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Man and woman want to perform the sex. Man asks woman, 'Can I try the wheelbarrow position?' Woman replies, 'What's that?' The man explains, 'You need to rest your arms on the floor and have your legs in the air whilst I thrust you from behind'. Woman replies 'OK, let's do it as long as we don't go past my mothers'Comment
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I'm Joseph Fritzl and no windows was my idea!!
You'll Never Walk Alone
Awoooga!!!!!!!!Comment
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I went to a Christmas Party at a transvestite club, It was ok but all they wanted to do was eat drink & be MaryComment
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